How a smartwatch triggered my OCD
I wanted to share a bit of my story. Maybe it’s different from what many people face. I’m 29 years old, and until I was 28 I never had any symptoms or cardiac tests beyond the occasional routine EKG. During my adolescence I was diagnosed with OCD that, according to my therapist, was “mild.” I did therapy for a few years and was able to move past it… At 28, I decided to buy myself a smartwatch, and that’s when it all started…
First came the low heart rate notifications… it said 36 while I was sleeping, and sitting still at the computer I could be at 45. So I go to the cardiologist. EKG, stress test, 24-hour Holter monitor… nothing. Yes, my nighttime heart rate did get low, but I was working out 6 times a week and everything else was normal. Echocardiogram was normal. In 24 hours, the Holter only found a single PVC.
Then, without realizing it, the compulsions started. I was doing EKGs with my watch all the time, I learned to read EKGs. If one came back “inconclusive,” I’d do it again. I started paying very close attention to every sensation in my body, and the worst part? I stopped enjoying exercise or sports. Always checking my heart rate, exercising compulsively just to make sure everything was fine, etc.
You know what the worst part of all is? I’ve been dealing with this for a year and I’ve never had a single symptom. Pain? Nothing. Palpitations? No. Nothing, not a single kind of irregularity in over 5 12-lead EKGs, 2 echocardiograms, a Holter, and two stress tests. Obviously I need to go back to therapy, and I’m thinking about smashing the smartwatch. I just can’t bring myself to take it off. I’m not looking for advice or anything, I just needed someone to read me, to be able to vent. I hope you’re all doing well. Big hug.