After half a decade of this nonsense, I’m finally done
I’ve never posted or commented in this sub, but I’ve been reading your posts for years.
After half a decade, it’s officially over with my now ex. We’ve broken up and gotten together a trillion times in the past 7 years, but this time, I have 0 desire to save the relationship. I just don’t have any hesitations anymore, and I’m ready to move on.
Almost instantly, this man went straight back to following the same women on IG that he promised me he had no interest in. It always happens when we fought - he would instantly re-add the same set of 10 women. It’s just ridiculous. His fictional imaginary relationship with IG women is more important than any real relationship he could have in person. The onlyfans accounts. The cheating.
I wish I could say I didn’t have regrets. I so desperately wish I could be positive about this and be like: “I’m so grateful for all the experiences whether good or bad, and I grew from it.” I’m not happy. I feel like I wasted 7 years in my 20s. I feel old. I feel like I tried so hard to make a relationship work that was never going to work in the first place. I should have left the first time he cheated on me 6 months into the relationship. I’m just mad at myself for making the choices that I did.
The bright side is that it’s over. I can move on now. I have the peace of mind that I need. I never had such resolution until this week. I don’t feel afraid of a future without him anymore. I hope I can be open to dating in the future. I hope my ex didn’t permanently ruin my ability to trust men ever again. I hope I’ll be open to love when the time is right. I have hope!