Did I Overreact by Ending Things Over Inconsistency and an Ex Timeline?
I’d appreciate honest opinions from people outside the situation.
I’m 36F and she’s 31F. We dated for around one month.
TL;DR: Dated a woman for one month. Strong chemistry at first, then inconsistent communication and confusing timeline regarding her ex. I ended things because I lost trust and felt emotionally unsafe. Wondering if I overreacted or trusted my instincts correctly.
I dated woman for around a month. In the beginning she was very intense and integrated me quickly into her life introducing me to her daughter, parents, friends and colleagues. We had strong chemistry, lots of video calls and regular contact.
After the second time we met, her behaviour gradually changed. Communication became inconsistent, she would disappear for hours without replying or calling back, and I repeatedly explained that communication and consistency are very important to me because I struggle when people suddenly withdraw.
At the same time, I discovered something that confused me regarding her ex. She had told me the relationship ended around last summer, but I later found evidence the ex was still around her house/family environment in February this year. When I asked for clarity, I never really got a direct explanation instead I was told I was “overthinking” and “judging her past.”
Eventually I ended things because I felt emotionally unsafe, confused and unable to trust the situation anymore. She said she genuinely cared about me, but also said she “couldn’t be arsed fighting her own corner.”
Now I’m left wondering:
- Did I overreact and leave too early?
- Or was I right to trust my instincts about the inconsistency and lack of transparency?
Please be honest and balanced. I genuinely want outside perspectives.