I know na parang hindi talaga ako natutututo.
I have this boyfriend of 2.5 years now, he’s younger than me by 4 years. I met him off of a friend, and we both came from the same hometown.
He was everything I wanted — charming, gentle, and meek. Until he wasn’t.
Since I was a cc gurlie, (Even though may pambayad, cc lahat to earn points) I let my bf swipe stuff — an iphone 13 which was 30k and brand new wardrobe pieces which costed 7k sa uniqlo. All were on installment for 3 years. We had an agreement that every cut-off, he’ll pay them. So far so good.
6 months into the relationship, he said he owes his mom money which she went to his apartment and vent her struggles. He said he doesn’t know what to do. (Even though I had lent my ex money which I swore not to do anymore.) I lent him 5 digits because I knew he needed it. He swore he’ll pay me back as soon as possible. Nakakabayad naman siya.
Tapos nakita ko na he had his account for online sabong, which he claimed nagpapacash in lang siya for his officemates, tinutubuan daw niya.
February came, naniningil ulit parents niya. Then came the string of unfortunate events:
He paid something na namali siya ng reference number — di na raw mareverse ng app dahil error niya. He was really sad, I saw it in him.
When he got a new job (with a higher salary to pay me off), habang nagpapamedical siya sa Guada, it was valentine’s, nakita ata siyang may bundle of cash which was yung pambayad niya sakin + pandate namin that day, naholdap siya and he said natangay yung bracelet niya.
So dahil dun he had to borrow again from me, which he promise he’ll pay sa sahod. Part lang nabayaran niya.
After a few months, weeks before my bday, medyo off na talaga ako sa kanya. I vowed to never lend anyone money. So I’m breaking up with him. His parents came to my apartment to fetch him. That’s when I knew the truth. He never paid his parents a dime. His parents even gave him money for rent, eh he was living in my apartment with no obligation kasi I was helping him out para mabayaran yung debt sakin & sa mom niya. Wtf?
He admitted that he had this investment which blew up when the agent ran with the money, the people whom he advised to join daw went after him with threats so he loaned money from his mother and he’s paying her back somehow.
Now, 2 na kaming debtors niya? Wrong.
He has OLA loans left and right. Yun pala pinanddate namin nung okay pa ang lahat. He didn’t want to admit na hindi niya pala kaya yung mga gusto kong puntahan. Which sakin, sana inadmit nalang niya kesa yung ganon. If taking me out cause you a great debt, okay na ko kahit sa tabi tabi lang.
After a few weeks, naglilinis ako, binuksan ko yung bag niya and saw the bracelet. Yung sinabi niyang natangay nung naholdap siya. We argued about it, he said “di ko sigurado kung nalaglag ata sa bulsa ko.” After that, I never saw the bracelet again.
Now I’m debating if everything was true to begin with kasi parang puro string of lies and everything. So I broke up with him, he swore to tell the truth and abide by rules.
Then came August na magcclaim na siya ng Diploma niya, di raw marerelease kasi wala siyang Thesis. Ang nangyari pala inalis siya ng groupmate niya, galit na galit siya dahil siya raw ang gumawa at tumapos non kaso hinayaan na niya nung magpapahardbound na kasi siya nga raw naman ang gumawa ng majority eh. Ayun, tinanggal siya ng kaklase niya. So to smooth things out, parang nagpabayad yung kaklase niya para ibigay yung file and magpapahardbound ulit and pirma na included na name niya. Ang funds non, supposed to be magssalary advance siya. Kaso I advised against it and lent him money kasi grabe ang interest ng advance na yun. He promised to pay.
Ang sakin kasi may utang na siya na kinakain ng interest. If umutang siya sa labas, kakainin na naman ng interest, liliit ang pupunta sakin.
Then, he sold the iphone he swiped dahil need raw niya magbayad ng mga utang.
Somehow nakakabayad siya pero sobrang liit lang. Nagkaron ng times na nabawi niya yung binayad niya dahil due yung sa debt sa mom niya. It made me build this resentment for him. Kasi bakit di niya alamin at planuhin para walang nababawi? I know his situation na sagad ang pera niya.
Then came 2026. He started a new job with a higher pay, he says he’ll finally get his life together. Then hindi nirelease ang backpay niya sa previous company niya. Then nakita ko na nakaopen yung account niya sa online sabong recently. He swore off this thing. Pero he argued na he really needed the money to pay off all the things he owes. Need niya malinis ang slate niya dahil malala ang BG check ng new work niya, the OLAs offered discounts and nung sa kanya ko pinaasikaso ang pagbebenta ng cam ko kasi may gusto akong bilhin for myself, yung proceeds ng cam ko ang pinangbayad niya without my permission. He said na kasi kinwento niya sakin yung discounts, he assumed daw that I was on board with lending him the money. So dinagdag nanaman sa utang niya. Pero ang weird lang isipin kasi na ang binayaran niya is yung agent na nag-office visit. Diba dapat may confirmation yon?
The reason I was staying is because the moment we break up, baka hindi na ko bayaran nito, yun i-ghost ba ko. Pero sobrang ayaw ko na sa kanya. I gathered all the strength na dapat talaga putulin na, hindi ko na kaya ang pagsisinungaling nitong taong to. Tsaka bakit ako, a sobrang tipid na tao and trying to build my financial literacy journey with a person who can’t budget the life out of him? Siguro nga bata pa talaga siya.
Now, he moved out. I am at peace pero sobrang takot ako na di niya ko bayaran. Baka i-treat ko nalang to as lesson learned.