I love my family, but I feel trapped and anxious in my own home
My family does love me in their own way. They buy me things I want, they try to make me happy, and on the outside it may look like I have a “good” family. But at the same time, I feel like I have no real freedom. I am 22 years old, and yet I still have a curfew, I do not go out much, and even when I ask for permission, I still feel like I am being controlled.
My father can be very manipulative, and my mother often tries to take my side, but the situation still feels confusing and stressful. The biggest issue for me right now is marriage and work. They keep talking about marriage, and if any relative or uncle suggests a boy they like, my father immediately starts making arrangements. If I say I am not comfortable, it turns into pressure, manipulation, and emotional drama.
I am also trying to get a job, but because of my family, I have already rejected three job offers. because I should go only after marriage ? But this is my life. I do not want to waste my time sitting at home and waiting for permission to live.
Today, I broke down and cried because I do not know what is wrong with all of this. I feel scared to get married before I become independent. I honestly believe that once I leave this house, I will need to keep my distance for my own peace.
Has anyone else gone through something like this? How do you deal with loving your family, but also feeling trapped by them?