My life
Stay quiet
Stay small
Whatever you do do not believe you know better than him
Do not interfere between him and mum
Make yourself as invisible as possible
Do not make him notice you
I have always been scared of J, I always will be.
Just for the love of God, move quietly and make life easy for him, it'll give you a break. J likes people who are easy to deal with. It's less work I assume. He knew the best way to get to me was the eating disorder and the weight and the fact we all knew my own father didn't want me. Maybe because it made him feel better about his father. I pity him, he had to endure 5 years of mum alone.
That can't of been easy. The cleaning up the vomit, the lying and making excuses, the scare of knowing when she would come home. I'm good at caretaking, I've been taking care of adults and kids since I was a kid. When I look at my biological mother I see an incubator, not a mother. A mother is what I needed, not what I got. I was 12 and stressed/anxious of what would be waiting for me when I got hime. The worst part? You can't tell anyone, you're left alone with this secret burning in you, because you're worried your parents would hurt you worse if they found out or that if you got taken away who would stop them choking on their own vomit.
J likes to pretend it didn't happen. He wouldn't, he was busy having a life while some of us tried to figure out where our mother was. I was 12 and ringing pubs.