u/GuitarAlarming7572

Original post here for context

So it took me a while to finally suck it up and talk to my roommate. I ended up talking to a few of our mutual friends first. My ex-roommate(“Jess”) said that she was pretty sure Jake was into me when she first suggested we live together, but had figured it had passed since neither of us did anything about it. Her boyfriend apparently thought me and Jake were already dating or “at least fucking, come on man”. I also found out that if he is gay or queer, he hasn’t told anyone, but most people wouldn’t be surprised.

I’ve let myself lean into the touchiness in the past couple weeks, which has honestly just seemed to make him more touchy. Still doing movie nights, still cooking for us(although I’ve been picking up takeout for us recently when he’s had busy work days), still just working through our routine, but a little more comfortable with the touchiness. 

I finally talked to him a few nights ago while he was making dinner, I was sitting at the table working on a paper and he walked by and brushed his hand over my shoulder so I took it as an in to say I’ve noticed he’s a lot more touchy with me than he is with other people and kind of jokingly asked if I should be reading into it. 

He told me that I should only read into it if I want to, and that he could stop if it made me uncomfortable, so I told him that Jess had mentioned thinking he was into me and that I wanted to check in with him. He got really quiet and finally told me that he DOES like me and was trying not to be too obvious about it at first, but that he’d kept making moves when it seemed like I was enjoying it/that I might be interested. He said he didn’t want his feelings to mess things up if he was reading them wrong and I got a little overexcited and asked if he wanted to go get dinner or something(he very helpfully pointed out that he was already making dinner and that we’ve kind of been going on dates anyways). 

So, sorry that there was no big climax to the story, but I thought it might be nice to let people know that things worked out, and I’m going with him to have dinner with his parents next weekend, :)

Hi Reddit. Throwaway account because my roommate and I follow each other on my main account and I would be really embarrassed if he saw this.

So I have been living in my two bedroom apartment for a few years. Originally I was splitting the rent with a girl my age who I didn't really interact with much. We worked opposite shifts so were never really around at the same time, but we got along and I went out with her and her friends every once in a while. When she moved in with her boyfriend, she suggested I let one of her boyfriend's friends "Jake" take her place on the lease. I couldn't afford the place on my own, so I agreed even though I didn't really know the guy very well.

Well, Jake and I have been living together for about 18 months now, and things are a lot different than they were with my last roommate. I was kind of nervous about us clicking because I don't usually get along great with cis guys, but he's really nice and honestly the perfect roommate. He's clean, he cooks for both of us a few nights a week(he works early mornings, so I don't usually see him before dinner), he was pretty insistent on us watching a movie together a couple months into him living here and now we have a movie night at least once every week. One of our days off usually overlaps, so he added me as a guest on his gym membership and we usually go work out together and then get lunch somewhere on that day. We spend a lot of time together when we're not working, and I really like just hanging out with him.

Here's where I get a little lost. For the last 7-8 months, Jake has been getting a lot more touchy with me and wanting to spend more time together. Examples:

- A few months ago, we were watching a movie and he pulled my legs into his lap and we just sat like that for a while. He needed to get up to go to the bathroom at some point and put my legs back in his lap when he came back to the couch. Since then, we've stopped watching movies from opposite sides of the couch, and we're usually touching in some way. I've fallen asleep on him or vise versa a few times.

- He's asked to come to events I go to that he's not necessarily interested in. I had some of my art in a gallery opening a few weeks ago and he found out through my old roommate and showed up to compliment my work(he'd already seen it, I hadn't told him about the gallery because he was supposed to have work that day). He also asked to tag along to an LGBTQ event that my friend was hosting and he was really great interacting with everyone there. The host made a joke about him being the straightest one there and he laughed, but said he was just interested in what we get up to. The next day, a couple of my friends were encouraging me to ask him out, saying that he'd been talking about me a lot when I wasn't around.

- When he's been drinking, he gets really close to me and likes to drape himself over my shoulders. A couple of times he's tried to pull me into his lap at the bar. Our friends say he's a touchy guy in general though so he might just be getting more comfortable with me.

- Valentine's Day. He brought home a vase of lilies(my favourite, which he'd asked about a couple weeks beforehand) and put them in our kitchen with a note that said thank you for being a great roommate and that he appreciates me. It was very nice.

I don't have a lot of experience with close male friendships. I have quite a few guys that I hang around in a group, but most of my close friends are girls and they're VERY affectionate with each other. I'm used to being close with my friends and doing sweet things for each other, I've just never had that kind of friendship with a roommate or with another guy. I don't know if I'm just misreading this situation because I've been told that male friendships are less affectionate, or if he's into me.

I want to ask him about it, but I don't know how to bring it up and I especially don't want to ruin the really nice situation we've had going on. I started developing feelings for him a while ago and I'm worried a lot of this is confirmation bias, but the not-knowing is driving me crazy.

EDIT: I'm a gay man, and yes I am attracted to Jake. I have no clue if he's gay or bi or anything other than straight, and really don't know if I'm comfortable trying to get that information out of him.