To our missing piece of the puzzle
This is for you to understand my side.
● when ur mom found out about your dad dating someone new she tried to have him arrested. Twice. Started drama within his family by being upset that no one told her. (There was a no contact order on ur dad and she had already blocked from his side)
● in our early months of dating she had forge your dad's signature to have ur last name changed (from ur dad's to ur mom's), ur auntie and ur sister had a volleyball tournament somewhere in the states. Your grandma didnt care to let u FaceTime with ur dad after months of you not seeing him. While she got to travel and stay with you for the tournament weekend.
● court got changed for me to be the primary contact as your mom had a no contact order on ur dad, we werent expecting her to call due to the run around she was doing for years prior to me ever being in the picture. She called me as a unknown # so I didnt answer than she called again so I answered and said "hello? Is anyone there?" Than she hung up. No contact was changed.
● once she had with contact ur dad this turned into her way of asking things she had no business, and still trying to control your dad as if she was still in a relationship with him
●I met u spring of 2020
● we managed to get a few overnights, tentions were high at this point for us as a family because we knew if we did anything that was out of your mom disapproval, she would rebel. This caused arguments in our relationship and we didnt handle this the best either, I was pregnant emotional and having to deal with this on top of everything else going on.
●you naturally started calling me mom, you naturally called my son "brother". We neevr told u to refer this to us, this was all what just flowed.
●This was when your mom told us you hated coming over. This is when we were told that you didnt want to come over anymore.
● when we were starting to get visits there was alot of canceled visits, calls and FaceTimes made by your mom due to "i forgot, I got busy, she didnt want to see you"
●visits stopped because she said you didnt want to see us anymore.
●2021, we seen u twice, it was difficult.
● after your second brother was born, I was going thru post partum, ur dad was struggling with setting boundaries, keeping the peace.
●We were so excited to spend ur 6th bday with us and finally to get pictures as a family together. The second we drove off from pick up, you brusted out saying "my mom told me youre not my dad anymore, you are just "mike" I have a new dad. And these kids, they arent my brothers! And I dont need to listen to you at all!" I was shocked, hurt and so discouraged by everything. I had to go for a ride to just have a moment to process everything. Everyone took me needing a minute to having a problem or throwing a fit.
● I understand I was not perfect with the way I handled certain things.
● we stopped seeing you for a bit. Mainly because where we lived was the problem. We thought maybe once your mom and ur "new dad" got married and she was happy that she would stop with the games. The winter of 2023, we had a fall out with your grandparent this was nothing of ur fault either. We cut ties.
Your mom immediately started being buddies with them again.
● your dad reached out, spring of 2024 however texts from ur mom that weren't child focused. She often tried to take over the calls by telling u what to say and ask.
●october of 2024 she invites us to one of your hockey games. Aw your little face you looked like u didnt know he was going to be there and u wanted to cry but u couldnt, "new dad" looked shocked and pissed to see us. Ur mom is standing there trying to make small talk with us and all I could think was "i cant believe she would do this to her own child". Ur mom walks over and sits with ur grandma and auntie on ur dad's side. It was alot, she definitely knew we cut ties yet she pulled that and ended up hurting u. The text we got back was u not wanting to come, you probably wondered why we didnt want to stay. I dont know what horrible things you were told but that was so disrespectful.
● later we heard ur "new dad" and ur mom broke up. I cant imagine your hurt. She got you to call him dad, and pushed this idea that your dad was only "mike".
● we set boundaries up numerous times and every time it was crossed and treated like we were asking for too much.
I'm truly sorry, but even before I was even in the picture with your dad. Your mom had already wanted you not to have a father, she did the same thing with ur sister.
Your dad and I wanted to break cycles we wanted a better story for our children and unfortunately, we failed you.
I love you, you will always have a special place in my heart. Those mornings with u felt right, doing your hair was one of my favourite moments with you, swimming was always fun with you. We were often stripped of time with you. You will always have a home with us.
Whatever you were told, I know I must sound like a monster.