r/blendedfamilies

I am living in my step kids childhood home. My kids are in their old rooms and we made one room for guests. My step kids all live near here so they dont need to stay here ever. How do you deal with his kids continually reminding my kids that their rooms used to be theirs? Also anything that is ours they seem to want to claim possession of it. We sold our travel trailer ans they were upset as they see it as their inheritance instead of their dad s possession he can do what he wants with. I understand blended families are hard but once all kids move out parents dont need to keep their bedrooms the way they are. They dont live here anymore. My parents made my old room into a guest room and my beothers into a storage room. We dont live there anymore. What shoild we do each time they mention something is there's? Thr DVD s and such i gave them to them. I dont care. Bigger things they belong ro their dad not them. They also said they cant wait until their grandpa dies so they get inheritance. Why is a blended family so complicated?

I need parental advice badly. I met my husband who l’ll call Mark 12 years ago and we got married 2 years later. He had a 4-year-old son when we met who I’ll call Daniel. Shortly after Mark and I met, Daniel‘s mom moved out of state, and Daniel moved with her. Until he was 11 years old, he spent every summer with us and we’d split all the other school holidays. When Daniel was 11, he started having problems at school, was being bullied and had behavioral issues. So his mom and dad decided he would move in with us full-time. Literally the week that Daniel moved in with us my husband started a new job that required him to travel a lot. In the span of one month he might be gone for 2 weeks, be home for a month then be gone for 2 weeks. Daniel and I had a bit of a rocky start because of this. As a brand new full-time stepmom, I wasn’t sure of my role was when Daniel misbehaved. We eventually got to a point where we developed a good relationship, I’ve taken him to Disney just the 2 of us, and we get along pretty well for the most part. But every time his dad would go out of town, Daniel would act like a completely different person. He wouldn’t go to bed at his bedtime, he would break House rules, he wouldn’t do his chores, etc.. I would relay this back to my husband, who basically said “you’re the parent you make the rules he has to follow them”, but the kid just wouldn’t. When Dad was home, he was one person, with me another. I got to the point where I asked my husband not to go on any more work trips and he soon got another job where he stays home most of the time. That said, for the last two years, he’s opted to go out of town the week that Daniel is on fall break from school and that has struck a nerve with me. This time it was an optional work trip, an opportunity that he really wanted to do but given everything else I’m about to lay out it does bother me.

The problem is in the last few years as Daniel is getting older, he turns 16 in 2 weeks, he’s been going through some behavioral issues again. He skipped school multiple times last year, earlier that year he got into trouble for sharing intimate pictures of his girlfriend, had to go through Court mediation, he was on community service and we had to pay fines. Around then he discovered online gaming, and his personality completely changed. He went from being a very outgoing kid to someone who stays in his room from the moment he gets home from school until bedtime, all thru the weekend and sometimes his dad finds that he’s staying up till 2am talking to his friends or being on his phone or on the computer. his mom was able to control how and when he logged on and off and was able to set timers, but somehow he was able to get around it. 
During the summer his dad stipulated, he’d have to volunteer at a local nature center and there were multiple days that he called out sick so he could play his video game. 
Then his dad stipulated that he would have to get a part-time job. There’s a family owned business that agreed to hire him. Within a month he lost the job because he wouldn’t go to work. He’d tell us that the business didn’t need him and he would tell the business that he was grounded because of his grades. He lied to stay home and play on his computer all day long during the summer. He never faced consequences for lying. His dad basically said that him losing the job was consequence enough.

He also began lying. A lot. Daniel is a tenacious and very charismatic kid which could be a good quality if he applied it to good use, but instead he uses it to get what he wants. He will have no problem telling one parent that the other parents said that he could do something just to get his own way. He lies very easily and that concerns me. It’s gotten to the point that you can’t really believe anything that he says. When he gets caught in a lie he acts like it’s just a silly little thing. Or he’ll just lower his head and say sorry but it’s obvious to me that he’s trying to play us. He goes right back to doing the same things over. 

We offer to pay him $30 a week to do his chores which he only does half of the time, if that. We have a very hyper pitbull mix who really needs to go on a walk every day so we’ve asked him repeatedly to make sure that at the very least he does this chore. When she doesn’t get walked, she gets aggressive and hyper and destroys everything in the house. He neglected to do it for so often and for so long that his dad finally just started taking it on. but even his dad doesn’t have time to do this every day so the dog just destroys our house. But other than him saying “you no longer have to do this”, there was no other consequence. No loss of privileges, nothing. 
Sidenote, it’s my personal belief that teenagers should have to do their chores not just to get an allowance but because they are a participating member of this family and House. Our roles as parents are to prepare them for being an adult, prepare them for being on their own as a functioning member of society. The teenage years are where you learn to do hard things. That’s where you learn about community and responsibility. His dad and I go to work and we bring the money and we do 95% of the cleaning/ chores. Daniel goes to school, he doesn’t have a job because he’s only 15, so his responsibility should be the few chores we’ve assigned him: Making HIS bed, keeping HIS room tidy, doing HIS own laundry, taking out the recycling, walking the dogs, and brushing one of the dogs. These chores take less than 20 minutes every day. I can’t remember the last time he’s brushed the dog, he stopped walking the dogs altogether, and every weekend we have to constantly remind him to wash his clothes, then constantly remind him to move his clothes to the dryer, and half the time I end up having to do it for him because he is so lost and locked up in his bedroom, playing this video games and the weekends are when I need to do my laundry as well. It’s pathetic. This boy has no sense of responsibility. 
In my opinion, they should be non-negotiable. The reward for that is that he gets $30 a week, but in my opinion chores- like good grades -should be non-negotiable and not doing them should result in losing some kind of privilege. The reason I think that this is nonnegotiable is, I don’t want to raise children who are entitled, selfish, and who have no sense of responsibility or integrity. we give this child everything he could possibly need, he’s never wanted for anything. Apparently, his dad and I disagree on this because he says that if he doesn’t do his chores, he just doesn’t get paid. The problem with that is that if we don’t pay Daniel his allowance, he just asks his mom for money and she gives it to him or he finds another way.

I worry that Daniel is growing up to be irresponsible and entitled and every time I try and bring it up, his dad tells me that I’m being way too hard on him. He once used the word “step monster” which haunts me to this day. He agrees that Daniel has some growing issues and every now and again he’ll sit him down for a heart heart and tell him that if he doesn’t do X he’s gonna get X privilege taken away and it might work for a week or two but nothing changes. 

He’s got a new girlfriend, probably the 50th one he’s had in the last two years who lives an hour away and he’s been begging everyone to drive him there and back to visit with her for the last 3 weeks and we’ve all said no because we’re busy. He has concocted every scheme in the book to get to this girl. Last night, he casually informed his dad that he created an Uber account, lied about his age and planned on using money that he won from a game (certainly not his allowance because he’s not been doing his chores) to go and see her. His dad informed him that no he wasn’t, he was not going to take an Uber an hour away to meet someone that we had never met. 
Now here’s the kicker…we just found out that this week he skipped school AGAIN this week multiple times, also, he’s failing one of his classes, has been lying about where he’s been and instead of full on grounding him, his dad is letting him go out with her to some festival tomorrow, where another family member has to drive him an hour there and an hour back.  So the same day he finds out that his son has been skipping school and lying to him also, while failing some of his classes he’s going to reward him by giving him the one thing that this kid has been begging for. He says after that Daniel‘s not allowed to have his computer, but he can still have his phone and tablet. He says that Daniel has to do all of his chores.. at which point I had to coax his dad into adding back in walking the dogs and to my utter shock, his dad rolled his eyes and acted like I was being overbearing and made another claim that I was “throwing the book at him “ but again he is leaving me to deal with all of this and I have a full work schedule next week. I don’t have time to watch over Daniel like a hawk to make sure he’s actually doing the things that he’s supposed to do while he’s home from school and my husband’s yet again out of town for it.

Can someone tell me am I overreacting? Am I being an asshole or too hard my son? I would really appreciate an outside perspective here.

I have a 15 year old son from a previous relationship and my wife has been in his life since right before he turned 4. When he was younger he loved her and was always so sweet. Now he hates her and have told/texted it enough. I should also mention that I have a trans daughter who he does not accept. To his credit, he is respectful around her for the most part. Im at a loss right now on how to approach this. I know I need to have a talk with my son who will most likely distance himself even more from me(he lives at his mom's house). I want to protect my wife and children. I cant help but feel like a relationship has now changed for the worse out of all this

My husband and I have been married for 15yrs, when I met him he was divorced, filed BK and his home was foreclosed on. I made significantly more but over the years the salary gap has narrowed but I still make a bit more. I am a go-getter and he is just whatever, midway thru marriage he cheated. I asked for a postnuptial he has refused to sign, although that was contingent on me staying. Today we have 2 properties. One a 2nd home worth $500k and the other where we live worth $2m - he has two kids from prior in their late 20s with one married prior and we have 2 together 12 & 4. My earning potential is higher. I want my kids to get significantly more in trust but I’m also considering divorce since I haven’t gotten over the affairs but I don’t want to split the household for my kids sake. I’m struggling with what to do. Please help with thoughts

Ik ben moeder van een dochter van 11 en heb met haar vader een vaste zorgregeling van 8 dagen bij mij en 6 dagen bij hem. Deze regeling is destijds met behulp van een mediator tot stand gekomen en vastgelegd in een ouderschapsplan. Daarin staat dat een eventuele wijziging in het belang van ons kind moet zijn.
Haar vader woont samen met zijn partner en hun jongere kinderen. Tijdens de zes dagen dat mijn dochter bij haar vader verblijft, heeft zijn partner in de praktijk een groot deel van de dagelijkse zorg voor mijn dochter op zich genomen. Nu heeft zij aangegeven dat ze die rol niet langer wil vervullen. Ze wil bonusmoeder zijn, maar niet meer de hoofdverantwoordelijkheid dragen voor haar dagelijkse verzorging en opvoeding.
Ik respecteer dat ze haar grenzen aangeeft. Wat mij echter dwarszit, is dat de voorgestelde oplossing is om onze dochter een dag minder bij haar vader te laten verblijven, zodat ze meer bij mij is.
**Het probleem is naar mijn idee niet dat de zorg voor mijn dochter te zwaar is, maar dat haar vader onvoldoende zelf de verantwoordelijkheid voor die zorg oppakt.** Als zijn partner bepaalde taken niet meer wil doen, verwacht ik dat hij eerst kijkt wat hij zelf kan overnemen of anders kan organiseren.
Ik ben een betrokken moeder en heb de zorg voor mijn dochter goed georganiseerd. Ik heb niet om een wijziging gevraagd en mijn dochter heeft voor zover ik weet ook niet aangegeven dat ze minder bij haar vader wil zijn.
Haar vader lijkt vooral over de verdeling van de dagen te willen praten. Ik wil juist eerst begrijpen wat er precies speelt, welke verantwoordelijkheid hij zelf kan nemen en waarom een andere zorgregeling goed zou zijn voor onze dochter.
Door eerdere ervaringen met onze communicatie vind ik het lastig om onbevangen in dit gesprek te staan. Ik wil geen strijd, maar ik wil ook niet dat een probleem binnen zijn huishouden automatisch leidt tot een verandering in het leven van onze dochter.
**Ik ben benieuwd naar jullie eerlijke mening:**
Is het redelijk dat ik verwacht dat haar vader eerst zelf meer verantwoordelijkheid neemt?
Is het terecht om de zorgregeling te willen veranderen als de nieuwe partner haar rol anders wil invullen?
Zie ik iets over het hoofd of redeneer ik te veel vanuit mijn eigen perspectief?
Hoe zouden jullie dit aanpakken?

How do you handle a toxic relationship when you have children?

My partner struggles with communication. When something goes wrong, even a small mistake, the usual response is yelling and shouting at me and the children. I try to remain calm and avoid making a big deal out of small mistakes because I believe we should be able to communicate respectfully, even when we disagree.

Unfortunately, this has been an ongoing problem for several years, and I'm emotionally exhausted. I feel that normal disagreements often escalate unnecessarily, and it has become difficult to have a calm, constructive conversation about problems.

I'm worried about how this environment is affecting the children. I'm also concerned about what their lives might look like if we separate and they spend time alone with my partner. At the same time, I don't want to hurt my partner, damage their self-esteem, or make them feel like a bad person. I want to handle the situation respectfully, even if our relationship cannot continue.

I'm beginning to question whether staying together is the right decision, but I don't know how to approach this in a way that protects the children's emotional well-being and allows both of us to move forward.

For those who have experienced something similar, how did you handle it? How do you know whether a relationship can be repaired or whether it's time to leave? And how can you end a relationship respectfully when children are involved?

Bf of 1 yr wants me & my daughters (9) to take the next step & move in. They were introduced around 5 months in. In that time there hasn’t been a whole lot of time spent all together. A few dinners/weekend trips & spending the night at his house a couple times. The most time together was last month for a week on a vacation with his family. During that time his family didn’t seem too interested in my daughters & made me feel like an inconvenience. My bf had multiple instances of getting frustrated/annoyed/impatient with them & appeared to try correcting normal child-behavior vs. actually wanting to bond. I have my daughters Tuesday-Saturday. To this day has kept most of our time together separate from them, never invites us all over or really do anything on my days I have them. When I tried bringing up my concern he says things like “I know I need to work on my patience I am trying & want them around & will treat them like my own. I like them we just have different parenting styles. I want us to be a family & I know this is the right move. Our bond will grow over time” & said something like “I’ve only had like 4-5 encounters with them it takes time” yet that ball was in his court this whole time to try & build a relationship with them. What bothers me more is that he had a previous relationship from I believe 2015-2019 or so, where there was another child (younger than mine) that he repeatedly says he was “like a father figure to” & she’s older now, they have eachother on social media & she even made a post about him on his bday featuring them when she was a child & seemed like she looked up to him in that way. I don’t understand why he seems to not show the same interest in mine & acts almost like he just tolerates them. He constantly tries to reassure me that he is completely ready & wanting to become a family & that he understands I am a package deal & he is fully committed to what that brings, but the action & interest shown says otherwise.

Ok so husband and I have been together four years, share a 2 yr old. He has a 24/20/16/13 yr old with his ex. I have a 8/11 yr old I share with my ex.

We are at the stage where we are going to one of his son’s wedding this weekend. And next week his other son is going into the navy so my husband is heading to see him get sworn in. Only he and ex wife will be there and then we are heading to Illinois for a Navy event in December.

Please don’t attack me.

I feel anxious bc we will be around HCBM. She has threatened us legally. Abused us. Been hateful about my kids, me, threatened our finances, made her daughter take videos that husband was abusing her and said she’s taking kids from him etc. it’s been awful. She’s said hateful stuff about me that husband hides from me and deletes messages. I’m so over all the drama.

So at these events, I’m sure and it would make sense that the kids would want a pic with mom and dad. Some of the navy events they give you limited tickets. So only husband and ex can go. I’m not going to the one next week but will be at the wedding and at the navy event in December (providing we get tickets). At minimum I’m heading up and my toddler and I will enjoy a hotel stay, pool etc while he goes to the navy events.

How do I not be anxious, and particularly feel wierd about him and her taking solo photos with their kids. I GET IT, the KIDS WOUOD PROBABLY LIKE A PIC WITH MOM AND DAD.

I’m tryin to work through this issue on my own so I’m not struggling or feeling wierd or off in the moment, or if the kids post pics of them with mom and dad like they’re a family again.

I’ve voiced my anxiety to my husband and he just got mad at me. So that didn’t help.

\*sigh\*

Any advice ?

Context. My kids dad is an absolute ahole to me and my husband. My son has epilepsy and had two very scary grand mal seizures. I called 9** and had to go by an ambulance this was around 6 pm. There dad met at hospital and stayed the whole time as well. We share 50/50. I kept my husband informed the whole time what was happening. We were there from 6 to 3 am. My husband works nights so he was at work. He texted and said “ do you want me to pick you up if I can” I said do not be upset but there dad will drive us back. It’s 3 am and I didn’t know how long it would take to get out of there plus the hospital is huge he would have to find us. My son was on 18ml of his medication that makes him very drowsy. It’s 3 times his normal dose they gave him. and my 5 year old was asleep next to him in the hospital bed. I just wanted to get home and get them to bed. Well now he’s abs mad and won’t hear me out.

Hey everyone! I know it feels crazy to already be thinking about Christmas, but it will be here before we know it!

My husband has two kids with two different moms. We have a really good relationship with one of the moms and do quite a few celebrations together. She also has a daughter around the same age as my stepdaughter, and the two girls share my stepson. They absolutely love each other and say they’re best friends.

I’ve been thinking about whether it might make sense for the kids to spend part of Christmas together this year, especially since this will be my stepdaughter’s first Christmas morning with us. I think it could be really special for all three kids to have some time together.

One possibility would be using my in-laws’ vacation home since there’s plenty of space for everyone, including our dogs, and everyone could have their own space. But we haven’t talked to anyone about it yet. I’ve just brought the idea up with my husband, and he thinks it could be worth considering.

I also think it could take some of the pressure off everyone with coordinating schedules, driving back and forth, and making sure the kids each get time with their siblings.

Has anyone done something similar with blended families? How did it work out? I’d love to hear what worked, what didn’t, and whether you’d do it again. We also live in northern Idaho, so who knows how the roads will be and this also keeps everyone together and safe without worrying about travel.

I’m a single dad. My son is 5 and i have him every other week. my girlfriend gets mad whenever my son calls me at night to say goodnight to me while he is at his moms house. she has now told me to pick between his phone calls or her.

Am i wrong to think him wanting to call me is ok?

edited: i ofcourse will pick my son 100% of the time. she jsut doesn’t believe me that she is wrong, so maybe her seeing others opinions might make her realize.

Hi - first time commenting here and looking for some advice and other people’s input on this rather bizarre interaction I had with my ex this week.

For context, I am the father in this situation. My ex and I split around 6 years ago, when our child was around a year old. We are very amicable and co parent well. Everything is 50/50 including time shared between our child. We had children to previous partners when we met each other. After we split, we have both moved on with new partners and again, everything is amicable. She has since had another child about a year and a half ago with her new partner.

So, I usually collect our son from her house after work on my scheduled days with him, as he goes to her house after school most days. Sometimes my child’s mother can keep me talking at the door, my partner has commented on this before but we’ve put it down to the fact we don’t think she gets out much or sees many people during the day, her life seems to revolve around child care, she also isn’t working and has had a major operation fairly recently, so I may be the first other adult outside of her household she’s spoken to in person that day. Never really thought much of it or thought there was any malice to it.

Recently, when I collected our son, she was at the door and kept moaning about her new partner (I will keep it vague for obvious reasons, but basically he is involved with a lot of sporting events and tends to do very well in them, so he is away from home for competitions etc). She keeps bringing up that he was away doing these events and she’s on her own. I found it abit uncomfortable because I find it inappropriate she is venting to me especially unprompted but again, I just kind of try and make light of it and leave with my son.

The last time I collected my son is why I’m posting here and where it all gets weird. So, I went to collect my son as usual, and she mentioned unprompted her partner has won another competition so will be away again, leaving her with the children ‘like he did when their child was first born.’ Again this puts me in an uncomfortable position but I just brushed it off to her needing to moan/vent and I happened to be there. She then said again unprompted that the TVs in the house are all broken due to a powersurge. I responded by saying surely her home insurance would cover it for her? Her response was to say how she isn’t on the mortgage and her partner didn’t sort it out and get insurance etc etc. I just responded that’s strange because what would happen in the event of a fire for example? Anyways, this is when I turn to leave. She then says that she has ‘her youngest’ to keep her busy (the child she has with new partner). I said yeah and dismissed it still leaving with my son. She then said he has a new trick and pulls out her phone.

She proceeds to show me a video on her phone of the child jumping up and down throwing a blanket on a sofa and making noise. Not really a big deal at all. However as with iPhones if you don’t press the screen when watching a video you can see the thumbnails of previous pictures/videos. Her camera roll was full of recently taken nude pictures. When I noticed, I immediately felt uncomfortable and didn’t know what to say or do. At first I ignored it, but as I was leaving I thought no, I’m going to bring this up and just said ‘by the way, maybe a good idea to hide your camera roll thumbnails when showing someone a video.’ She then proceeded to act like she didn’t know what I meant then I shook my head and proceeded to leave. She sort of made a shocked gasp noise and made out like she was mortified by what she did.

I have told this story to multiple people and they have all said the same thing - that it sounds intentional. I also want to say that I told my partner immediately and while she wasn’t best pleased she appreciated my honesty and we are both assuming it was an honest mistake on her part and giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Her partner was away recently on one of these sporting trips for around 4 days so I assumed she was sending them to him then, but my partner said he may not even know, we don’t know if she’s told him about this, and if not, perhaps they were being sent to someone else?

My exs new partner is a good guy and really good step parent to my son. I’m wondering how to proceed now as I feel really uncomfortable about this situation and wondering what other people’s input on this might be? I am currently just ignoring it and giving her the benefit of the doubt but it’s certainly made things uncomfortable now.

Appreciate any input you might want to offer.

So my daughter (13) has never really had a close relationship with her bio dad. He wasn't there when she was born because he was in jail/rehab for weed (not judging him for smoking and it's legal where I am now but if you know you have a kid on the way don't be an idiot ya know?) so he isn't on her birth certificate and never pursued paternity or visitation/custody and I never did either because I would rather be the only name on her birth certificate and not share custody than receive child support from him but I have my own reasons for that. Despite all of this I never stopped him from seeing her when he asked. For the first 9 years of her life he was spotty and inconsistent at best. Would pop up when he had a gf he wanted to introduce her to, I would say no to the girlfriend being involved until they were together longer, he would visit once or twice cause "it wasn't just about the gf I wanna see my daughter", I'd tell him to either step up and at least be consistent instead of popping up once every few months, he'd say I was "making things difficult" then disappear for awhile again. And awhile being quite a long time, when she was 4 I got married to my partner, we bought a house, and I had a whole baby without him even knowing until later so definitely huge gaps in contact and never any meaningful parenting. Visits were always with me there/at my house/at a public place.

Fast forward to her being 9 and him having a long term relationship with a woman who really encouraged him (and did a lot of reminding him) to pay child support and spend time with his bio kids. So he reached out to me and him and her hung out with Rowan a few times with me and then started taking her out to do something every other weekend. Like dinner, and activity, family dinner etc. And he unofficially paid me child support. A year later they broke up and he moved back in with his mom and sister. He wanted to keep up visits but their house wasn't super kid friendly so he started coming here. We all got along, did dinner, visits, birthday parties, holidays with him included, whatever for about 2yrs. And let's just say he got VERY comfortable being apart of the family. And that is when a lot of problems started.

He started saying things to her and to me in front of her, that we're....passive aggressive? Sexist? Body shaming? And honestly just dismissive of her in general? I don't know what to call it so I'll give some examples: He forgot about her recital and didn't show up. Blamed me for not reminding him (not my job) and when that didn't work he was texting her and blaming her for not reminding him because "if she really cared about him being there and wanted him there she would have reminded him", also said she "needs to help him learn to be a parent because he's still new to this", then told her she was childish because she didn't want to talk about these things over text and she couldn't just avoid him. He has said she needed to stay in girl scouts not dance because it taught more valuable skills, overall was very unsupportive of dance and to me has said things about it being sexual (it's never been inappropriate in any way) and he didn't like how some of the girls "looked at him like they had a crush or something", has commented on her body telling her she should work out in addition to dance so she doesn't become "pear-shapped", and 100 other things like to look up "toxic feminism" because she might have learned that from me (???). It was just a LOT and REPEATEDLY, even after I had talked to him multiple times about it and how it made her feel.

Now she doesn't want any contact with him. It's been about six months and he is mad and constantly blowing up my phone because I won't make her or force her to visit him. He thinks she should be punished or her phone taken away since she won't even look at his texts and has him blocked. And he keeps blaming me and my husband because I let her call him "dad" instead of his name and apparently this means I've "put him in her bio dads rightful place". We've been together 12 yrs and married for 9! Like?! He earned that title, I never forced it on anyone but apparently not stopping it was wrong? He is now threatening court (not the first time and he's never done anything before) and saying I can't keep him from his daughter. But I'm not keeping her from him as in she wants to see him and I'm saying no, I'm just not going to make her see him especially when he acts like that and makes her upset constantly. Why would I put her back in a position to be treated like that??

Sorry that was long but I felt like context was needed for why she doesn't want to see him and that it was brought up with him several times. TLDR: Daughter 13 doesn't want a relationship with her bio dad anymore because of his repeated comments and behavior towards her. I won't force her into it and he is threatening court because of it. But there is no current custody order or even paternity established and i don't feel like I'm in the wrong for not forcing her. Sometimes I wish he'd just go away again so my husband and I can raise her without this drama like we did for YEARS before I stupidly let him back in cause I never wanted to lie to her/hide anything.

My step son is over every weekend. His mother has very different views on what I think a child should be allowed to do. He’s 3. He watches and scrolls YouTube for hours on end even through the night. Eats whatever he wants, junk food, snacks, his teeth have to be removed because they’re so bad. He has no boundaries, he gets whatever he wants. He can be disrespectful to me and even his dad. He screams and has crazy tantrums over absolutely nothing like if he gets McDonald’s and his dad says no to getting donuts in the same time frame in which his dad always ends up giving him what he wants. When he does have these crazy screaming hitting the walls tantrums, his dad is so kind to him, he says sorry for yelling at him or telling him no etc, yet when our 6mo old son cries because he’s quite literally an infant he’s annoyed and aggravated. What is the difference here? I’m confused? Wouldn’t a person be more strict on the toddler vs an infant? Like toddlers need structure and discipline and not in an aggressive way but they test boundaries constantly. It’s so annoying and I feel like he doesn’t love our son the same. It’s off putting. He won’t help me often only occasionally and I work full time as well. When he is off work by choice sometimes for days , he still has my mom who’s a full time realtor watch him until I get home! Yet he’s called off work to get his son from the prior relationship can someone please help me understand because I’m losing my mind. I feel like a single mother in my home with a finance! It’s so frustrating! I can’t get anything done around here and he won’t do it he’s kind of selfish

I’m really struggling to figure out what the best way to deal with this is.

My husband and I have been together since 2023 and his family (specifically parents) disapproved as a result cut off contact. My MIL and my FIL both show traits of narcissism and have been no contact on and off from my husband since he turned 18.) We obviously got moved in together, engaged, married and have welcomed twins (his patents would be in contact with him on and off.)

MIL is now attempting to rekindle the relationship with her son, which is great, and is aware we have the twins.

Here’s where the issue lie:- she wants to form a relationship with her grandchildren without acknowledging I exist (even saying hello to me is too much.)

How do I move past this and is this something I should tolerate?

My husband is very supportive of my feelings and we initially agree that contact would not happen for the twins however i suppose i felt wrong for her not attempting to build a relationship with her grandchildren. So I did allow them to have a call but recently she’s been expecting a call whenever my husband can and calls near bedtime etc. We have a lot going on right now (obvs having twins, also we are newly married & attempting to move but a lot of back/forth with estate agents currently. To add my MIL has never met me. I have met my husband’s siblings. They initially lived in UK but have since moved to their home country (abroad with very different cultures/customs.) my husband and siblings were raised in UK. My husband in our early days had to be secretive about our relationship to his parents due to these differing cultures so when they found out about the relationship (which they had suspected) things kicked off.

Mis padres tienen pensamientos antiguos

No permiten que entre mi novia a mi casa

Que opinan

My oldest son got married in 2024. Side note I was a single parent the first 2 years of his life. I married someone when he was 3 years old and had 2 other children 18 months apart. We divorced 3 years later. Again… a single parent. We literally grew up together and went through ALL the BS. He married a girl whom he was best friends with in HS a decade later. After college blah, blah, blah. Mind you he was enlisted in the military at the time. His “wife” has been closer to my son’s stepmother their entire relationship. I’ve never been a helicopter parent. He’s a MAN! That’s how I raised him! I got completely iced out of the wedding and the planning then told by the stepmom that wasn’t her intention. As she was involved the entire time but never “thought” to involve me. My son and I haven’t talked since the wedding day 2 years ago! His wife does NOT care for me. She’s made that very clear their entire relationship. She “tolerated” me but once they were married, ALL COMMUNICATION with my son ceased. What do I do??? I have not reached out since. I’m not trying to interfere in their marriage. AITAH???