u/summertime131

have been dating my BF for 4years and I introduced my child to him about a year after. I’m a solo parent as I’m a widow (my child was 8 at the time). Last few years, my bf has been a supportive, and consistent presence in my child’s life. He is excellent at being in the background without forcing his presence on others. He went on a few college tours with us, always talked to my child about his career (he is in finance), was there for my child’s prom, graduation, and other social events. My child adores him and looks up-to him; and even decided to attend his Alma Mater this fall to study Finance.

BF shares custody of 2 kids similar in age to mine, and it’s an extremely difficult co-parenting situation. He is an excellent, devoted father to his kids, and 100% financially supports them and his ex-wife. His ex manipulates the kids, and the courts have warned her multiple times for parental alienation when they were younger. I met him 6 years after their divorce.

His kids are respectful when we are together, but I can see that they are hesitant to form a bond with me out of loyalty to their mother (which I understand). Couple of weeks ago they found out where my child will be attending university (it’s an extremely hard business school to get into), and got visibly upset thinking that their dad helped my child- which isn’t the case. Now, his ex wife is making the kids feel worse, and telling them their father has moved on and left them behind.

We don’t live together, and not planning to do so until his youngest graduate high school. I have worked my ass off to get me and my child to where we are today financially, emotionally and socially. I’m not sure how to deal with his ex and the kids. Obviously I don’t want to cause any drama between him and his kids. It makes me sad for him, and myself because I’m hesitant to continue the relationship if his kids are not on board. We are extremely compatible in most of the other things, and we love each other. Any insight on what to do here?

I have been dating my BF for 4years and I introduced my child to him about a year after. I’m a solo parent as I’m a widow (my child was 8 at the time). Last few years, my bf has been a supportive, and consistent presence in my child’s life. He is excellent at being in the background without forcing his presence on others. He went on a few college tours with us, always talked to my child about his career (he is in finance), was there for my child’s prom, graduation, and other social events. My child adores him and looks up-to him; and even decided to attend his Alma Mater this fall to study Finance.

My bf shares custody of 2 kids similar in age to mine, and it’s an extremely difficult co-parenting situation. He is an excellent, devoted father to his kids, and 100% financially supports them. His ex manipulates the kids, and the courts have warned her multiple times for parental alienation. I met him 6 years after their divorce.

His kids are respectful when we are together, but I can see that they are hesitant to form a bond with me out of loyalty to their mother (which I understand). Couple of weeks ago they found out where my child will be attending university (it’s an extremely hard business school to get into), and got visibly upset and jealous. Now, his ex wife is making the kids feel worse, and telling them their father has moved on and left them behind.

We don’t live together, and not planning to do so until his youngest graduate high school. I have worked my ass off to get me and my child to where we are today financially, emotionally and socially. I’m not sure how to deal with his ex and the kids. Obviously I don’t want to cause any drama between him and his kids. Any insight on how to handle this?

BF (49M) and I (49F) been together for almost 3years. I will be an empty nester this fall. He has 2 kids he shares 50/50 with his ex wife. His older child was away in university last year and back home because he didn’t like the school; will be enrolled in a school not too far from me. Younger child is a high schooler.

I live and work in a HCOL metropolitan city, and he lives in suburbs, but works in the city. He commutes 40min to an hour for work, and we see each other 3-4 times a week. I have a big enough apartment that he can easily move in.

He still financially supports his kids and ex-wife 100%. I’m financially independent and my child is well equipped in most areas of life.

Given all this info, if you were me, would you consider move in together? I’m wondering what’s my next phase will be.

BF (49M) and I (49F) have been dating for closer to 3 years. My child (18) has known him since the start of our dating, and he has attended many events with me & sometimes with my child as well.

He has an extremely difficult co-parenting situation, so we took time for me to meet his kids (19/16). I’ve met his kids numerous times within the last few months.

Yesterday, it was my child’s graduation, and him and his kids joined us for the celebration. Since lots of my friends and family knew my bf, they were greeting him and talking to him. His kids seemed really uncomfortable about the fact that lots of people knew him. One child straight up asked a friend of mine how long they have known the dad. I can see their wheels turning and they were trying to figure out how involved he is in my child’s life ( him & their mom has been divorced over 7 years when I met him).

They must be thinking that their dad had a whole other life that they did not know; so I understand the uneasiness.

How would you handle this? I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to my bf about this since yesterday.

What are the 3 most important things for you in a romantic relationship this time around?

Folks who are in a LTR, why do you think it works?

My partner of 2+ years has been divorced from his ex wife over 10 years and, they share 2 kids (18,16). He has dated someone before me and that whole thing didn’t go so well. Knowing what I know now, I’m sure the constant drama from his ex-wife must have contributed to the break up.

I wanted to make sure our relationship was solid before kids were involved ( I have a 18 year old myself and I’m a widow). Since the first time I met his kids they bring up their mom constantly in conversation. My BF is a wonderful guy and love and care for his children dearly. He 💯 financially support all of them (CS + Alimony), and a very present father. I felt the kids are slighting him in conversation, and compare everything I do to their mom. I mean I understand that they might be feeling guilty as she hasn’t moved on herself in the past 10 years. They are good kids, and I genuinely care about them.

How do I support him and the kids here? I have no goal post as I don’t have an ex-husband and/ or my child doesn’t have another parent. I’m mature enough to understand, yet sometimes I feel disrespected in my own home, specially in front of my child.

My partner hasn’t corrected them, at least not in front of me. Any advice would be appreciated. TIA

How’s your dating/ relationship going so far this year? Any progress? Setbacks?