u/GullibleLoquat6050

I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic/drug addict for 10 years, we have a small child together. There have been ups and downs. Times where it seemed like things were changing and we ended up right back like we’re on a hamster wheel with his addictions. I left last year, we were separated for a few months. I started to finally feel a sense of peace being out of the relationship UNTIL… I drank the koolaid and bought into him being in AA and claiming to be sober and changing his life. He of course sold me a dream, got us a nice home everything we ever wanted. My child was so happy and I thought you know what, I am going to give it one more chance for my child. Maybe it will all work out and he will be sober and we can live a normal life. Now I see it was all a ploy to get me back. Now I’m in a position where I am financially dependent on him but for RENT only. He pays our entire rent… but I pay most other things. I can’t afford to pay the rent alone and even if I were to try to go somewhere else I can’t afford to pay rent with my current wage and bills. I have been applying for new roles for months… unfortunately I no longer have family support or somewhere to go in that regard. When we separated previously I moved back in with my parents and discovered that my sibling who was also living there is a severe alcoholic as well. Like WAY worse than my child’s father…on a much more scary, dangerous level. I do not feel comfortable trying to move back there with my enabler parents who allow that type of behavior in their home. I refuse to put my child in an even worse living situation. I basically have no where to go. I know so many people have been in my position. I just want to hear some success stories… I want to know that I will find a new path that I’m working and fighting so hard for for me and my child. I have been through so much… as we all have being with an alcoholic/addict. I have been living in fight or flight for years and years. Traumatizing pregnancy/PP due to his addictions. I’m exhausted emotionally and at this point I can feel the stress physically also. I wish I could just escape now but I have no way out. How did you deal having to stay while you figure things out?? I try not to interact but our lives are too intertwined.