u/GuntherTheGrey

Im not going to list off everything that has happened the last 8 years of our marriage because it would be a long list im going to say what's happening now. My husband [26M] was looking at accounts on Instagram that were of women just shaking their butts and boobs and doing freaky stuff barely clothed. This isnt the first time ive caught him doing this we actually had this conversation literally 7 years ago and since then it hadnt been a problem. I [26F] asked him not to look at that stuff and that we both watch porn yes but that's not the same thing to me. He knows this. However here we are. His excuse is "well I was just horny and you don't want to have sex all the time" "i didnt masturbate to them im not like some freaky gooner i was just looking at them to get hard" "im not in love with them you know I only love you" "I don't understand how its not the same as just watching porn" "i was just thinking about you when I see them anyways" and when i asked about how he would feel if the rolls where reversed " i dont think id be mad I have unconditional love for you and theres nothing you could do to make me leave you". So now im wondering HOW is it different than porn really? Why does it bother me so much? If I dont mind porn am I really the problem for being hurt by this? Is this like a grey area?