So I’ve always felt super different and have been diagnosed with lots of things over my life. BPD, suspected ADHD, Suspected OCD, ptsd, anxiety, depression. But I just wanted to list some things I deal with and see if there is a possibility I might even have signs of autism before I pay the fat amount it’s gonna take to get assessed. I’m a 24 year old female
hate small talk, makes me extremely uncomfortable & would literally buy multiples of those card games that have questions you can ask each other specific things, when I would hang out with people because I can’t make conversation like normal.
eye contact is a big no. I will look anywhere but at you.
cannot mildly have an interest. If I like something, I have to know every single little thing about it or I almost don’t feel adequate or like I don’t deserve to be interested in that thing.
as a kid I would also hyper-fixate on things and talk about them for hours and collect things pertaining to the thing I was interested in. The example of unicorns.
hate jeans, have always hated jeans. Can’t wear anything uncomfortable. Hate dresses too but don’t know if that’s related. just makes me feel exposed.
hyper aware of peoples facial expressions, movements, etc and I do copy things a lot… like a lot.
i’ve never felt like I fit into any group.
I cannot socialize unless I am drinking, I absolutely hate doing it, but I am now sober so that sucks
I get overstimulated very easily but mainly with sound. ( I hated fireworks or loud music growing up ) but I’ve gotten a little better with that
Also last minute canceled plans makes me so upset
I just never feel right anywhere. But I guess the reason I’m nervous is because I really don’t wanna look stupid. What if I’m reading way too much into stuff? I’m so confused because of all my diagnoses.
I guess I’m just asking obviously not for diagnosis, but if it’s worth chasing after. There’s also more things, but these are just the main things I’ve noticed.