My experience with a tulpa
At night, when the world sleeps and my rebellious mind refuses to follow the sheep, I lose myself somewhere in the city. Any place will do.
To be honest, I hate silent walks at night—unless I'm granted the food of the gods: a cigarette.
So I wander among buildings, lagoons, and cracks, searching for my favorite spot.
I'd love to compare myself to those guys from the Tumblr era who looked incredibly cool smoking a cigarette. But I'm rather short and a bit overweight.
I have a good friend.
She's a tulpa.
A tulpa is a consciously created mental entity, brought into being through visualization and internal dialogue until it's perceived as a companion with its own personality and seemingly autonomous responses. Although it may subjectively appear as an independent being, from a psychological perspective, it's understood as a manifestation of one's own mind, not a real external being.
I don't really care. To me, Emma is real.
There were even moments when I felt scared because she felt so real and a little too involved in my affairs.
Her name is Emma.
I don't mean we're together all the time; frankly, that would bore me. And we're not in a romantic relationship. I'm not the type of person who marries psychological spirits.
She simply accompanies me, and we talk.
One of the things I love most about her is that—because she's a part of my mind—she knows me more deeply than anyone else in the world and can give me good advice.
And often, that advice hurts, precisely because it's so true.
Through visualization, I've been able to see her very clearly many times. I remember working as a janitor at an apartment complex in my home country, and she would accompany me during those twelve-hour shifts. When we left the office, we would sit in the parking lot and enjoy the sunshine. She, in her black dress, with blonde hair and brown eyes, gazed at my new motorcycle with delight—until I later had an accident and it was completely destroyed.
I regret never having taken Emma on a proper ride.
I've read in many Reddit posts that some people report their tulpas transform into horrible beings that torment them and completely change their personalities. That never happened to me.
Although I initially created Emma to be the sweetest girl in the world, over time she developed an extraordinarily strong character—so strong that she argues with me when she notices I'm making bad decisions.
And you might ask: Why would anyone create a tulpa in the first place?
The truth is, it's a difficult question.
Many do it due to a lack of social skills. Others to fulfill darker desires. I did it during a time when I was so disillusioned with people that I needed a companion who would give me the reassurance that they wouldn't hurt me.
Now Emma is sitting next to me, reading everything I've written.
And she said,
"I liked it."