Birthday of our middle daughter.
Long text, my Excuses Backstory is between the Lines. (-------)
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First of all a bit of Backstory.
My ex-Wife and i are divorced since 13 years now.
We have three daughters, (17, 15 and 13)... she has two more kids with other partners.
We divorced cause we had different understandings of loyalty... while i settled to stay with her till we got old... she was looking for "upgrades".
My
I helped her through cancer, until she got into remission, i worked the whole time and watched after our then two toddlers.
After birth of our third child, my spine broke... she changed the locks on the door of our apartement two weeks after it happened. (I know it is just my side and my word... but i was never violent, don't drink alcohol and give my best to be someone better than my parents.. who were junkies, violent and other thing.)
So... in the midst of recovering i had to look for a new apartement. The divorce was ongoing.
Yes i thought about a lawyer... but decided against, since the first who suffer in such things are usually the kids.
I already come from a broken home... so i swallowed it and tried to go on.
The part where i used a lawyer was, that i can see our kids every second weekend (as per divorce "contract" or how it is called. I am not a native english speaker.)
Over the years i always heard from our kids, what their mother says about me, that i am satan in person, manipulative and generally a loser.
I always responded the same way: "Your mother has her own view of things and that is her right. And i will not talk bad about her, she has her reasons to act like that, even when i don't understand them."
Our oldest and middle daugthers told me they will pause a while and don't see me for a month or two. That was three years ago. The pause seems to go on and my two oldest gone completly no contact.
As per our youngest daugther, they got rewarded from mother for no longer wanting to see me.
My youngest still comes to me and gets mobbed at home for that. I have no idea how long she will continue to visit me. But i would understand when she "folds" under that, and i assume, massive pressure she gets at home.
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Yesterday, our middle daughter had her birthday. Calling would probably be a stupid idea, but i wanted to show that i still care... i still care for all of our three kids.
So i sent her a birthday card (two days ago sent, postal serviced delivered on point).
Today i gone down to my Mailbox... it was stuffed with garbage... under all that garbage the torn apart birthday card.
While on one hand i think i understand the "message"... on the other hand i am as confused.
How can someone have so much hate in them?
Why would, and i assume, my ex drive to me and do such a thing?
This is such irrational behaviour, it is a bad example to our kids and it is generally just hurting. (What was the intent i would guess.)
And yes i am shaking right now... anger, tears, the wish to just scream.
So yeah... off my chest, in the hopes i can let this go.