Any advice would be appreciated
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So I'm 47 hubby is 51..been together for 6 years almost married for.almost 2 and.im done
I am a sexually healthy woman
I know what i.like
I'm.Selfless in the bedroom.
I'm.adventourous
I perverted
But I'm also a good wife
I cook
I clean
I look after kids ... Ok fair enough I don't sit on Pinterest making rainbow spaghetti for dinner but I am.happy just to. Get a toilet break without a tiny human standing there watching me.like.im.about to break the law
Whilst asking questions and.eatimg Cheetos .....
4 kids
Chronic pain
Nerve damage due to 10.ywars of dv
Had. Severe drug habit early teens which almost took my life many times and.coat me my family , woke.up.one say and decided that enough is enough and went cold turkey and gave it up....
So yeah I am.mentalky strong ...
But somedays the cat could look at me the wrong way and I'll.break down like a.crying gangsta ...
I have anxiety and I should be voted for the best actress award ... Because I have it alot and.i.fake it
No.onw.knows .
I love my husband more than myself
His whole family has abandoned him.and I am.all he has left ... Apart from.one friend ..
He's been hurting me physically
And.mentally and emotionally
AND he's lying about other girls
Going on chat ...
Cam to Cam.
If I don't get touched in 3 days I'm.arkimg up
And he always mostly deniea me.
Hw promises (I don't believe him.onebit tho ) that be doesn't watch anything
Chat to anyone
Touch himself ..... He's full.on convinced himself
And desperately trying to convince me that it's a hacker ...
For the last 19 weeks
All his dirty secrets have come out and hes denied it all...
Hw doesn't work
He's lazy as ... I provide for us
I've begged him to get a job ... Deaf ears ...
He's turned 5 emails in 19 weeks into a hackers dream
He's fked 2 FB accounts and made them.look like a 14 year old boys wet dream ACC.... SERIOUSLY.....
YOUNG AND BARELY OUT OF THEIR DADS BALLS ..
how is that supposed to make a 47 year old woman feel ?????
He's self diagnosed himself as "avoidant "
And I'm.tjw anxious one.
...🙄🙄🙄...
Couldn't keep.a promise to save his.life
And.ivw become. Super depressed
Withdrawn , unattractive , unappreciated ra ra ra ...
It disconnected us in every way
And to be quite honest
I've thought about running away more as a wife than I ever did as a child!!!!
He stinks of guilt
Gets all defensive
Then treats me like shit
Holds his love and affection and intimacy for ransom...
BUT I CANT leave......
Please help
Is he playing me ? Or am I letting my mental health and anxiety speak for me ???
Pic is of me for reference ...
I dress up
I play roleplay
I consider a good head job where she chooses you over oxygen .... SO WHAT IS HE MISSING OUT ON TO BE DOING ALL THIS ........I just don't and won't get it .
He misses out on nothing , I miss out on lots
It took him 5 months to just take me out for a cheap dinner for God's sakes ....
I feel .I'm being used and played
But my heart won't shut up ..
I APPRECATE ALL ADVICE ♥️
THANKS