u/HagarLaPolice

I’m 21 and in college and I’ve never been in a relationship before. No real dating experience, nothing serious.

Most of the time it doesn’t bother me, I am a pretty social person, I love talking to strangers, and have a decent amount of friends, but other times it feels like literally everyone around me has already gone through relationships before and every time after a few dates and the question about previous relationship come up, it feels too weird to say that i’ve never been in one, especially when the dates would always question my honesty about that subject. College kinda amplifies that feeling too, most of my friends that I met a few years back have a girlfriend or still have one ( most of them do).

Part of it is probably because my life path has been weird compared to most students. I’ve moved a lot growing up, so it was kind of hard to experience this before college. Honestly I just never really been in an environments where dating naturally happened for me, and now it’s really hard to just get into it without knowing how it goes. I’m really social but I am also awkward with women in general, my dates are just so uncomfortable, and I just can’t keep up a conversation one on one unless i’m drunk.

I don’t think I’m unattractive or incapable socially. I have friends, hobbies, goals, but dating has just… never really happened.

I also have a lot of difficulties reading people romantically, i’m not sure if that’s the right word but i’m super bad at taking cues, mostly of the time it’s also bc I rather be respectful than take that risk of going for the kiss on a date, sometimes i think it’s also fear of rejection.

Most of my dates end up at some point in just a friendship or a hookup, and it’s becoming tiring, and if it’s neither of those, it’s a third option of where I have no idea where she is going, and that’s even more exhausting than knowing it’s not going anywhere.

Any advice?

I’m 21 and in college and I’ve never been in a relationship before. No real dating experience, nothing serious.

Most of the time it doesn’t bother me, I am a pretty social person, I love talking to strangers, and have a decent amount of friends, but other times it feels like literally everyone around me has already gone through relationships before and every time after a few dates and the question about previous relationship come up, it feels too weird to say that i’ve never been in one, especially when the dates would always question my honesty about that subject. College kinda amplifies that feeling too, most of my friends that I met a few years back have a girlfriend or still have one ( most of them do).

Part of it is probably because my life path has been weird compared to most students. I’ve moved a lot growing up, so it was kind of hard to experience this before college. Honestly I just never really been in an environments where dating naturally happened for me, and now it’s really hard to just get into it without knowing how it goes. I’m really social but I am also awkward with women in general, my dates are just so uncomfortable, and I just can’t keep up a conversation one on one unless i’m drunk.

I don’t think I’m unattractive or incapable socially. I have friends, hobbies, goals, but dating has just… never really happened.

I also have a lot of difficulties reading people romantically, i’m not sure if that’s the right word but i’m super bad at taking cues, mostly of the time it’s also bc I rather be respectful than take that risk of going for the kiss on a date, sometimes i think it’s also fear of rejection.

Most of my dates end up at some point in just a friendship or a hookup, and it’s becoming tiring, and if it’s neither of those, it’s a third option of where I have no idea where she is going, and that’s even more exhausting than knowing it’s not going anywhere.

Any advice?

I’m a junior at a good state school and I’ve been prehealth for a while, originally aiming for pharmacy school or PA school. I have solid medical experience (combat medic, ER tech experience, veteran work, etc.) and speak 3 languages fluently with two of them being critical languages, but honestly my GPA is probably my biggest bottleneck.

Even if I get straight A’s from now on and retake some classes which I’m still doing this summer just in case, I know it’ll still be an uphill battle. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and starting medication has honestly been life changing. It made me realize a lot of my academic struggles weren’t just me being lazy or unmotivated, it’s probably been affecting me my whole life, and I just wish I had been diagnosed earlier.

Because of that, I’ve been rethinking everything. I’ve started looking into government careers (federal service, intelligence, operations, foreign service, etc.) and even econ/finance related paths since they seem like they could fit well with my military background, leadership experience, and security clearance.

The problem is I’m already a second semester junior, so I feel like I might be too late to pivot hard. The most realistic thing I could probably do without delaying graduation is adding an econ minor, but I’m not sure if that actually helps enough to matter.

I feel stuck between forcing the prehealth path because I’ve already invested so much into it, or pivoting now before I waste more time. I want a stable career with strong earning potential, and I’m honestly just trying to make the smartest long term move.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Is it too late to pivot junior year? Would an econ minor actually help, or should I focus more on internships, networking for government roles instead?

I’m a junior at a good state school and I’ve been prehealth for a while, originally aiming for pharmacy school or PA school. I have solid medical experience (combat medic, ER tech experience, veteran work, etc.), but honestly my GPA is probably my biggest bottleneck.

Even if I get straight A’s from now on and retake some classes which I’m still doing this summer just in case, I know it’ll still be an uphill battle. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and starting medication has honestly been life changing. It made me realize a lot of my academic struggles weren’t just me being lazy or unmotivated, it’s probably been affecting me my whole life, and I just wish I had been diagnosed earlier.

Because of that, I’ve been rethinking everything. I’ve started looking into government careers (federal service, intelligence, operations, foreign service, etc.) and even econ/finance related paths since they seem like they could fit well with my military background, leadership experience, and security clearance.

The problem is I’m already a second semester junior, so I feel like I might be too late to pivot hard. The most realistic thing I could probably do without delaying graduation is adding an econ minor, but I’m not sure if that actually helps enough to matter.

I feel stuck between forcing the prehealth path because I’ve already invested so much into it, or pivoting now before I waste more time. I want a stable career with strong earning potential, and I’m honestly just trying to make the smartest long term move.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Is it too late to pivot junior year? Would an econ minor actually help, or should I focus more on internships, networking for government roles instead?

I’m a junior at a good state school and I’ve been prehealth for a while, originally aiming for pharmacy school or PA school. I have solid medical experience, speak fluently three languages and two of them are critical in intel (combat medic, ER tech experience, veteran work, etc.), but honestly my GPA is probably my biggest bottleneck.

Even if I get straight A’s from now on and retake some classes which I’m still doing this summer just in case, I know it’ll still be an uphill battle. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and starting medication has honestly been life changing. It made me realize a lot of my academic struggles weren’t just me being lazy or unmotivated, it’s been affecting me my whole life, and I just wish I had been diagnosed earlier.

Because of that, I’ve been rethinking everything. I’ve started looking into government careers (federal service, intelligence, operations, foreign service, etc.) and even econ/finance related paths since they seem like they could fit well with my military background, experience, and security clearance.

The problem is I’m already a second semester junior, so I feel like I might be too late to pivot hard. The most realistic thing I could probably do without delaying graduation is adding an econ minor, but I’m not sure if that actually helps enough to matter.

I feel stuck between forcing the prehealth path because I’ve already invested so much into it, or pivoting now before I waste more time. I want a stable career with strong earning potential, and I’m honestly just trying to make the smartest long term move.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Is it too late to pivot junior year? Should i power through the PA path or pharma? Would an econ minor actually help, or should I focus more on internships, networking for government roles instead?