AITAH for wanting my MIL out of our house?
My wife and I have been married for 28 years (both early 50s), 2 of our children are moved out on their own, our youngest just graduated college and is getting ready to move out soon. We’re not rich by any means but we have done well for ourselves. I retired from the Army, so we have a retirement and healthcare for life. I now work for a big tech company remotely; it’s a great gig.
About 6 years ago we purchased a house with an apartment in the backyard and moved my mother-in-law and father-in-law in with us. At the time, he was in bad health, my wife is an only child… it seemed like the only solution. My father-in-law has since passed away, and my mother-in-law is still in the backyard apartment. My in laws had no retirement or savings to speak of so my mother-in-law is living off of SS and what little life insurance she got when my father-in-law passed a few years ago. She is in her early 70s and in relatively good health. She’s fully independent and still driving.
My wife and I want to sell this house and downsize it, buy a motorhome and spend a lot of time traveling the country. You have probably already guessed the problem… what do we do with the mother-in-law? She can’t afford a decent apartment in the area where we live with just SS. I have talked to her about moving, she does not want to move into a retirement community that is rent controlled based on income for whatever reason.
Financially, we could keep the house, buy the motorhome and travel but maintaining the house would be a lot. We are sitting on roughly $250k equity in this house, if we sell it, we can essentially pay cash for a smaller house or the motorhome.
In my mind my MIL has 2 options… move into a rent-controlled place that she can afford with just SS or she can go back to work and afford an apartment. I don’t want to be working into my 60s or 70s to maintain this place for her. With all the kids nearly gone it’s way more house than my wife and I need or want. I should also mention my wife is on the same page as I am. Her relationship with her mother is a situation where my wife tolerates her but they generally avoid each other when possible.
My MIL thinks we should maintain the status quo since we moved them down here and bought this house. She also seems to think that a rent-controlled retirement community is beneath her. My wife and I feel like we should prioritize ourselves since the kids are nearly out on their own and doing well. Who is the asshole here?