Realizing something on my birthday.
My recent ex of 5 years and me said we would stay friends after the breakup. I think it was very mutual and we both wanted to keep in touch. Obviously breakups are rough but we broke up last year and moved out from each other 7 months ago. We have been talking less and it's been me reaching out more recently than her but I truly thought she would reach out to me today and her not doing so is making me realize that...... She didn't want to stay friends (she's the type that definitely remembers). We were friends for years before we started dating. Our breakup was for a lot of reasons like any other breakup but the crux for me was I changed my mind on kids after she had not straightened out her financials after not being able to rely on her financial responsibility and it didn't seem like it would change. I'm now almost 40 and already have three when we first started talking about kids I was closer to 30. She had her own reasons I'm sure including me being a bit of a recluse after COVID I'm not saying either was at fault just it would no longer work. It just really hurts to know I lost that friendship too since she was such a huge part of my life and I really wanted to stay friends with her. Thanks for listening to me rant a bit. Just sad I didn't hear from her today as I do miss her a lot.