Hi, I am just looking for some support today. I know I'm not alone but it really helps to read/hear it. Please tell me stories, feelings, anything about your lost pet/pets. They all matter so much and I want to feel like I am not grieving so harshly alone. You don't even have to read my post, feel free to just comment and I will read, then reply when I am able mentally.
I lost my childhood cat of nearly 15 years about 2 weeks ago. He passed away a week before his birthday. I just had him at the vet in January and they were shocked at how old he was. He started declining due to age very fast and his passing was expected to a degree but still a bit sudden. I am mildly glad for this though, even though he was doing all of this a little bit less he was still eating, would still beg for treats, he still groomed himself. He would still cuddle with his bonded partner. He didn't play a lot but he still would. He was attached to me up until the last day he was with us. His name was Davinci.
Its indescribably hard writing everything about him in past tense. I'm still in shock on and off. My very first cat was his sister and they were bonded and only a year apart. She passed unexpectedly at 9 and after that Davinci became very clingy with me. I felt like we were grieving (just in different ways) together. I have been so close with him since. He was one of those pets that I could always read spot on. I knew what he wanted when he wanted it, I knew how he liked to be pet. I knew when he wanted to be left alone even if other people couldn't see it. He was grumpy with most people except me and eventually my partner. My boyfriend became his second favorite person very shortly after moving in with me.
Since he passed I keep having dreams about him. I both want these and dread them. I just woke up less than 20 minutes ago from one. In each dream I get to see him, I know hes about to die and instead of freaking out I just take the opportunity to tell him I love him. Kiss his forehead. Pet him. Give him his pain meds. Take a bunch of pictures of every little thing he does, so I never have to forget every little habit.
I miss him so bad. He was just so sweet, I was one of the only people that got to see that side of him. I miss how he would yowl at my bedroom door until I opened it for him. How he would run and jump onto the bed then look back at me excitedly, even when it started getting a little harder for him to jump. How impatient he would be for me to come sit back down so he could curl up in my lap and get covered up. I just want to hear him one more time.
Thank you for reading, I know its unorganized but that's just how it goes. My thoughts and feelings are so unorganized and yours might be too, that's perfectly okay. I can't do his personality justice through my writing right now, so please please know he was amazing. He was the best companion that I could have asked for.