u/HalfPotential8540

what the fuck

and nothing happened. everyone minded their own business. but I didn't speak. lol.

I just looked at myself more closely and thought I resemble a 14-16 y. o. so it's actually not bad. (I am 25)

the worst part was the wind clinging to some poor little girls fragile tiny body.

its when you, for a split second, step out of your tr00n coping and dissociation and remember what body you're actually in. and it throws you straight back to the time before transition, when you were somewhat normal in everyone's eyes. and now you're just a freak.

if I didnt have coping and dissociation, I probably would've lost my mind a long time ago. whats even the point. I would've never transitioned. honestly, I think im stuck in a child's body forever. my bones dont even resemble female ones. not male either. they're just... a child's bones.

I once watched a documentary about a cis guy who, at 20, looked like he was 11. honestly, I have more in common with him than with most of ftms. cuz at least they look like adults, like women or men. I look like a kid even without clothes.

idk. picrel me after seeing how my ex friend who also sexually abused me lives a happy life now cuz she has a parent who cares for her and way more money than my family ever had too

fuuuck. I chilled out. after dumping a bunch of tarded posts onto this sub. I actually feel a bit better now smh. deep down I still wish I didn't exist tho.

ts feels like a garbage dump where I occasionally throw in crumpled drafts of masterpieces... but mostly its just garbage. cuz why not, not everything has to be beautiful or useful. sometimes you just gotta allow yourself to be ugly and useless too. to simply exist, I guess. deep shit.

fuck I wish I never repped. sure prob id have been more of an asshole, but also id have never ended up thinking men are inferior. don't laugh. I psyoped myself as a cope for dysphoria. smh. well I was chronically online. now being a man feels like something forced onto me but inevitable, tho its technically the opposite, but that's how it feels.

sometimes I think I should detroonmax. cuz sometimes I think I probably do that at some point anyway. would it even work again if I forced myself to associate with women right now. I don't know. I'm just not sure if I ever get to the point where I actually believe I am a man, and not some weird creature craving testosterone for some reason. but I probably wont ever end up as anything other than nonbinary at best... I don't mind, if itd make me less dysphoric and more happy tho. I wonder how people know if they're nonbinary...

billions should work out. being able to defend ur lady is hot. knowing that ur lady can stand up for herself is hot. working out doesn't necessarily make you stronger than everyone else physically, but it definitely helps to become more confident and brave. and that's a huge W.

I used to think "fembrained" and "malebrained" is bullshit that eventually doesn't matter, but i want women to be women BRUH. it genuinely hurts seeing PAINFULLY malebrained women, same attitude, same way of thinking, same expression, same speech patterns, basically close to zero soulpassing. my masculinity is not fragile, just if I wanted to talk to an insufferable r3tard, I'd talk to a man (self-deprecation, obviously). at least then it's expected, so my autistic brain processes it easier

billions must soulpassmax. maybe not to the point of fucking completely losing yourself, obviously, but at least to some extent. i just wonder how is that even possible. I know people who genuinely struggle with dysphoria but still can't let go of old habits. tf is that. act of "empowerment"?

this is more of a cry from the soul tied to a very personal story, honestly. but id rather leave it as vagueposting

with being unlovable. every fucking time it's all the same. people act like I'm interesting, they like me. then they slowly grow distant, emotionally unavailable and never tell me what's wrong or what i did.

never ending cycle of falling in love, getting heartbroken by the lack of mutuality and then healing just enough to repeat it all again. I gotta break it.

I am unlovable. I shouldn't have gotten into a relationship in the first place. ever. its a heartbreaking realisation but it's true. long term, I'm better off alone. I've lost all hope.

so the opposite would be trans men womanmoding, right? right?...

this gotta be a psyop, these people aren't real

I wonder why some painfully fembrained bdd doods are blessed with a such good body pass... maybe they're just gay. gaydens stay winning? kinda?

also after working out today I thought if there any luckshits who have access to gym and still can't do shit. gotta mog you all doing my home workouts. eventually.