individualistic partner 41M, what to do 30F?
Hi everyone,
I (30F) moved in with my boyfriend (41M) 6 months ago.
We have been together for 2 and a half years.
At the beginning, my boyfriend was so individualistic that I felt I was living in a shared student flat: he would put only his clothes in the washing machine, not care to give me the heads up if he comes home late, have dinner by himself even though I was home, and etc.
On top of that I discovered lies and the shit really hit the fan.
We were about to break up but then decided to try couples therapy. The experience has been very very positive overall.
Even though there are improvements, I still see that thinking in terms of "we" is not something that comes easily to him. Almost every week I feel let down by something.
The therapist says that this can change with time, living together.
But a thought that occurred to me lately was that we can't ask an apple tree to give peaches...
For context: he is an artist and works alone. So, he spends most of his time alone. He has friends but they rarely meet.
Can you tell your experience with partners with this kind of problem? Did they truly change with time?
Thanks for the comments!