u/Hammertimeparty

I went 21 days without smoking weed the first time and then 14 days the second time. This recent time I smoked over the weekend at a birthday celebration and thought I’d be okay just smoking over the weekend. I was wrong. I got high every day after that. Today is my day 1 again. I got off work after a 9 hour shift and working everyday this week plus tomorrow and there is nothing more I want to do than get high. I’m not going to though because I know if I don’t stop now I probably won’t ever.

It’s hard for me to see all the bad that weed causes because I honestly love myself and everything more when I’m high. The first time I tried to quit I was motivated by a required drug test for work. Which I ended up using my friend’s pee anyway because it’ll probably take 3+ months to actually clean my system out. Now my motivation is only the benefit of myself and that is not enough.

There’s a small part of me that wants to believe that there’s a better life for me once I quit this dependency. Maybe I could achieve some of my goals. I’m trying to hold on to that part of me.

Not a question, just want to say for the first time in my life I actually really enjoy going to my psychiatrist. I feel like they actually care about me and I’m comfortable telling them things I’ve never told anyone before. I feel like there’s (understandably) a lot of doubt and a sense of fear going to see a psychiatrist. And I’ve had my share of experiences with “poor” psychiatrists or feeling like I wasn’t understood.

Wanted to make this post to spread some hope and positivity! You just have to find the right match, be honest, put in the work even if it sucks, and eventually it’ll turn out alright.