what are the limits of having a crush in islam?
there is a library in my town that is so good to go study at, I went there couple of times before but not much. However, since October 2025 I started going to the library like two to three times a week and i went there even more in winter break because i needed to study hard this year, so there is this man who is there everyday like whenever i go i find him, and i actually know him, not personally but we once took the the same bus near the library, it was march 2024 and the reason why i still remember him is kinda weird but he was sitting in front of me and i had this intrusive thought of pulling his hair (i didn't do it), i instantly remembered it was him when i saw him again in 2025, but didn't think much of it and it was normal until i noticed myself just thinking "oh when is he coming today?", like i statred to care about him and his presence, my brain it self detected the hour he usually comes to the library at and waited for that time to come, i waited for prayer times not just to go to pray but also to see him coming down to go pray ( the prayer room is at the first floor and he sits at the second), i usually used to sit at the second floor because the first floor is not very quite due to some activities people do there so i dont really concentrate there but at winter the second floor would be so hot because of the AC so i had to sit at the first floor (most of the time the first floor is for gen x and old people and genz normally sit at the second floor), whatever i started liking him, and im kinda open to myself and honest so when i saw myself like this i said ok i like this man, what do i do? do not act upon it.
so as mush as i saw him he's religious, he prays on time, like literally on time, most of the times he would be the imam when people at the library pray together and he has a really good voice in Quran and he recites it really well, he always lowers his gaze and never looks nor talks to women, and very very respective, nice and beloved by poeple working there, so i told myself i dont wanna be the reason he does something wrong, like not just because its haram but if i showed interest or kept showing infront of him or even kept staring at him there is no way he wouldnt notice and look back its gonna be hard for him to keep his interaction with a woman, so i decided to ignore him and just caring and crushing from afar without him noticing anything.
how not to act upon it?
- Where to sit: even though summer is here and now its okay the sit at the second floor i decided not to, and keep sitting at the first floor even though its annoying and full of weirdos.
- Prayer times: i wasnt the type that prays on time, but when i saw him doing that i wanted to do it (i acutually do it now because he inspired me, like even if im not at the library is still pray on time ) and i liked the idea that im praying jama'ah and he is the imam, so i decided to wait for him to go to the prayer room without him seeing me and then i would go there and pray, and i don't go out until he leaves the prayer room so we wouldnt meet.
- Rists out side of the library: when he wants to take some rest and breath some air he would go outside for a bit, at that time i wouldnt dare to even think to go outside.
- Bus: the only thing i couldnt control was the bus part, we go home at the same time and we take the same bus and i cant take a taxi every time i would be broke, so whatever, he already lowers his gaze, but i would go to the bus first before he leaves the library and when he comes i would act like im busy at anything just not to look at him while he is coming to take a seat, so i tried my best.
things got out of hand:
- first floor became so annoying i would go there and couldnt study i just waste time and weird old men kept talking to me and looking at me and one of them even wrote me a handwritten message saying weird stuff, i told myself i need to sit at the second floor because wild old men approaches are scarier than boys my age, and i picked a seat that is very far away from my crush, he wouldnt see me from there.
- At prayer times like come on it takes so much of my time to calculate when is he leaving and coming and stuff its tiring so a couple of times we would meet when i leave the prayer room.
- I can control myself not going outside when he does to take rists, but he wouldnt care when im the one outside so we would meet sometimes.
- the only thing that worked was the bus part, we are not taking the same bus anymore because right now i leave earlier than he does.
i noticed him looking at me a couple of times, and its not like staring, no he's respectful, but like before, our gazes didnt even meet once but know it does, and I can see that he notices me and recognizes me, deep down of course im happy like hes my crush i would like to know what he thinks about me but im also scared that i might be doing something wrong and even without me noticing im acting like i want to be noticed, so what do i do now? i swear i act genuinely i dont do anything.