My friend is in a dangerous hoarding situation
I've been reading about what others here are trying to do with loved ones who live in hoarding situations. A few weeks ago we visited our best friends in another city. It is my best girlfriend, her husband of 30 years, and their grown daughter. Going into their home was a shock. I knew they were in a hoarding situation about 5 years ago last time I was there, but this time was shocking. They live in a 2,000 square foot home that is packed with junk. Useless junk and clothing. There are a few tiny spaces cleared for computers and a path from the front to the back of the house but that is it. I couldn't see the kitchen due to stuff piled up high on the bar so I don't know what that situation is like.
My friend is a leader in her community. She is a public figure. She had her husband have advanced degrees and were professionals with high paying jobs before they retired. I don't think anyone has been in their home for years except my family. We used to stay in a house they own across the street but her husband has filled that with junk. The garage is packed solid, so the driveway is full of old worthless cars that they refuse to get rid of.
My friend used to have a beautiful home, but her husband refused to throw anything out. The house is literally falling apart. She longs for a nice home like her friends have but the only way she'll get it is by leaving him.
Her daughter longs to move out to find a good job somewhere else but she and her husband refuse to give her the support she needs. He keeps saying how much money his daughter will get when they die and that she is lazy. The negativity is over the top.
Yes, when we go out, or travel together they are delightful and what most people consider normal. They manage to dress well, love to go to public art events, galleries, wonderful restaurants, plays, etc. The cars they drive are clean and well maintained.
She longs for a better life, but is so far gone that I think she has finally given up. I've talked to her daughter and told her that we support her plan to move out and get away from the chaos.
It is heartbreaking to know that my best friends have gone totally off of the deep end. How can one carry around a secret like this? I know we all have clutter here and there, but NOT an entire home packed like an abandoned storage unit full of junk.
I could tell her family, but tell them what? They'd just tell her to leave. She can afford to leave but won't. I don't know what to do.
No wonder she loves to travel and visit family and friends out of town.
Sorry everyone, I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.
Holy cow, tomorrow I'm taking a big load of stuff I no longer use or need to the charity store so someone else can use it. If I can't use it then into the garbage can it goes.