My family situation has been blowing up on FB in the worst way possible, and I just need to vent.
My grandpa has been paralyzed for 16 years. Before my mom came to the U.S., she personally took care of him for 5 years straight feeding him, bathing him, cleaning him, lifting him, everything.
After we moved to the U.S., she continued to send money every single month for 16 years.
Money for medical bills, hospital trips, supplies, food, household expenses not just for my grandpa, but even for my aunt who doesn’t work.
Now, my aunt has only taken care of my grandpa for one year and already acts like she’s carrying the world on her back.
What makes this even more frustrating is that my uncle the youngest one also works a full-time job AND takes care of my grandpa during the daytime.
He cooks for him, feeds him, changes him, and handles everything before and after work and during work.
All my aunt has to do is watch over my grandpa at night. She has no job no bills to pay, not wash own dishes, and no financial responsibility at all.
Yesterday she was yelling and screaming at my grandpa. My uncle heard it and told her to sleep in another room because there's a male nurse who can stay overnight and watch him professionally.
But my aunt refused because the other room doesn’t have AC. She said she will “watch overnight” only if she gets to sleep in my grandpa’s air-conditioned room. Meanwhile, she’s still raising her voice at him someone who cannot even move or speak properly just because the patient is nagging.
My mom got so frustrated she posted about the situation on Facebook. Somehow the post went viral, and instead of people understanding what she meant, the comments are attacking her.
Stuff like:
“Taking care of elders is hard. All you do is send money. You don’t have the right to talk.”
“If you’re overseas, stay quiet and stop interfering.”
“She’s the one physically caring for him, not you.”
This is what makes me angry: my mom DID physically care for him for 5 years , and she has been the ONLY reason the family can afford caregiving, nurses, medical supplies, hospital bills, medicines, everything. Sending money every month for 16 years is not “doing nothing.” It is literally what allows everyone else to even survive.
My aunt wouldn’t even be able to sit in that AC room without my mom paying the electricity bill.
But somehow the internet sees a woman yelling at a paralyzed old man and still goes, “Aww that must be so hard for her.” Meanwhile the person who sacrificed the most gets blamed.
It just feels so unfair and emotionally draining. People see 1% of a story and then act like they know everything.
I’m tired. My mom is tired. And honestly my grandpa deserves better than someone who screams at him just because she wants an air-conditioned room.