Don’t know how much longer I can keep going
I’ve been in a LDR for over 3 months now and things have been such a roller coaster. I truly love this woman, but these many fights in this short time cannot be normal. It seems no matter what I do or say, I’m never right. And I’m left as an broken, crying, anxious mess while she avoids me and then ”jokes” saying she doesn’t have s boyfriend. When I make a mistake I can say sorry a thousand times and she will tell me she loves me a little less. But she can never see the world times she hurts me and then my feelings don’t matter.
I truly love this woman but I don’t know how much more of this torment I can take. Without her I have barely anyone to talk to. I feel so alone and defeated and it’s been like this all my life. I don’t know how much more energy I have to keep up with this. I haven’t felt this much bad in this short time since I first got diagnosed with depression 7 years ago.
I thought I got better, but maybe I didn’t.
I just feel so alone and I don’t have anyone to talk to and I keep wondering how long it’s going to be like this.