u/Haolge

Three days ago I posted about Apple approving my app in 9 minutes.

Well… it just happened again.

12:35 AM — “In Review”

12:44 AM — “Approved for Distribution”

Exactly 9 minutes. Again.

At this point I genuinely don’t think a human is even looking at my app anymore.

Like there has to be some internal system that goes:

•	app opens ✅

•	nothing explodes ✅

•	no crypto scam detected ✅

•	send it 🚀

because what are the odds of getting the exact same review time twice?

Meanwhile every time I submit an update I’m emotionally preparing for:

•	a random guideline rejection

•	please clarify your business model

•	some obscure 4.3 spam violation

•	a 2-day review process for no reason

and Apple just keeps speedrunning it.

I swear App Review has become 90% automated and 10% someone clicking approve while eating lunch.

11:31 AM → “Waiting for Review”

3:25 PM → “In Review”

3:34 PM → “Approved for Distribution” 🚀

I was fully expecting:

a random rejection

guideline drama

at least 48 hours of waiting.

Instead Apple speedran the review process 💀

Fastest approval I’ve ever seen.

I genuinely stared at the email for a minute like:

“wait… that’s it?” 😂