u/Happy-Engineering-35

This happened two days ago, and right now I’m at my parents’ house. I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m not really sure how to feel about the situation. I’ll try to keep things non-explicit.

I got married to my husband in April, so we’re still newlyweds and very much in the honeymoon phase. He really misses me whenever I’m not around, and I was planning to go to my parents’ house for a visit.

Two days ago, the night before I was supposed to leave, my husband and I were intimate before going to sleep. I was also having allergies, so I took a tablet that was very sedative and made it extremely difficult for me to keep my eyes open.

The next morning, while I was still very drowsy and sleepy from the medication, my husband initiated intimacy with me. I was barely able to open my eyes, but I was somewhat aware of what was happening. Afterward, he lay down beside me.

I asked him what time it was, and he told me. I said I would get breakfast for him, but he told me not to worry about it and said that I should take a shower instead because he would make breakfast for me since I was leaving for my parents’ house that day.

At the time, I didn’t really think much of what had happened. I was focused on getting ready, and we had breakfast together before I left.

Now that I’m at my parents’ house and have had time to think about it, I keep wondering why he didn’t wake me up properly or check with me before initiating intimacy when I was so drowsy from the medication.

Maybe I’m overthinking the situation, or maybe I’m only processing it now because I’ve had some time away from him. I love my husband, and we have a good relationship. I know he misses me when I’m away, and we’re still in that newlywed phase where we want to be close to each other all the time.

But I’m still unsure about how to feel about what happened that morning.

Should I be concerned about this? Am I overthinking it, or is it reasonable for me to question why he didn’t make sure I was awake enough to understand and agree to what was happening? I would appreciate hearing your perspectives, especially from married Muslim women who may have experienced something similar.

I got married 3 months ago, and I’m wondering if what I’m experiencing is normal for newlyweds.

In our culture, after marriage, it’s common for a wife to spend a few days at her parents’ house every now and then. Usually girls stay for around a week, especially in the first few months, and go back and forth a few times as everyone adjusts.

The issue is that my husband seems to have a really hard time whenever I’m away. He isn’t controlling at all and never tells me not to go. In fact, whenever I ask, he always says I should spend time with my family. But after a couple of days, he becomes very sad and tells me how much he misses me.

At first, I found it really romantic and sweet. But now I’m starting to worry because I feel guilty every time I leave him. I haven’t been able to stay at my parents’ house for more than 2 days because I know how much he misses me, and I end up wanting to go back.

Right now I’m staying at my mom’s house, and it’s been a few days already. My brother is moving to a new country and he’ll be leaving in 5 days, so my family really wants me to spend this time with them. My husband was supportive of me coming here and never told me not to stay. However, as usual, he’s been telling me how much he misses me and asking when I’ll be back. Since we got married, I haven’t really been able to stay at my mom’s place for more than 2 days without feeling guilty and wanting to return because I know how much he misses me.

The thing is, I love him dearly too. Seeing him happy when I come back and the way he hugs me makes me feel loved and appreciated. But I’m feeling conflicted because I also want to spend time with my family, especially before my brother leaves.

For those who have been married longer: is this just a newlywed phase that usually settles down with time, or is this something we should be more intentional about addressing? How did you balance time with your spouse and time with your family in the early months of marriage?

This might already be a common thing, but lately I’ve noticed an increase of it on Muslim subs specifically. Whenever a woman shares her opinion, asks a question, or talks about hijab, Muslim men quickly jump in to teach, correct, or give “expert” opinions on the matter.

I recently saw a reel where a Muslim dawah brother asked another brother, “Do you think hijab is a journey?” And it made me wonder: how are men speaking so confidently and deeply about a ruling that specifically applies to women?

I’m not saying men can’t know Islamic rulings or discuss them. But I do think there’s a difference between understanding a ruling and constantly inserting yourself into women’s conversations about experiences you’ll never personally live through.

If Muslim men want to advise on these matters, wouldn’t it make more sense to focus on the women close to them, like their sisters, wives, mothers, nieces, etc. instead of preaching to random women online? Especially on Reddit, where these discussions often become harsh, judgmental, or completely lacking empathy.

And hijab is only one example of this.

I’m curious how other Muslim women feel about it. How do you feel when Muslim men express very strong opinions on rulings that apply only to women?