I'm 23m but have the same ocd as you all. Except this condition differs from person to person. More than any other condition. I have every symptom. It fucking sucks knowing that I will never have a regular social life. I've only ever dated a woman for a month. That was it. It doesn't matter what I do.
I can be serious, and people don't like me. Or I can be friendly or smile and people don't like me. The point is people don't like me unless they actually know me. My family and the rare person will see me for who I really am and want to hang out all the time. Everyone else that I don't know fucking assumes shit about me. They don't give me a fucking chance. It's fucking ridiculous.
I also have no friends. That's my point. Ever since I did online school. So, about 10 years. I don't feel lonely that often. I just feel more angry that I will never be fucking normal. And somehow, it is all my fault. The fucking mental charades never stop.
I crave attention as a result. But at the same time I don't give a fuck about what people think about me. It sounds contradictory, I know. But that is genuinely the way I see it.
I'm a musician and a whole bunch of other unique qualities, but no one would ever know that since people judge me on shallow shit. I'm not the best guy in the world. But far from the fucking worst. That's my take.