Findom and being submissive is a gift
Findom and being submissive is a gift. Most men that are not submissive by nature but yearns to provide don't really reflect on that desire, they just see themselves and being good at one thing and that is providing and then wanting their woman to reciprocate with everything else making the relationship unequal, but for them is equal. However submissive men has enough self-awareness to realize it's much more than that. And we yearn to provide for someone we deeply love, or find attractive, even if it doesn't give us anything back, but we also reflect a lot on why we have those feelings. We realize being submissive is not just about giving money, or or kneeling, or losing control, or being obedient, but it's about character. We don't mindlessly obey, we do it because we want to, with no feelings of shame. And even if there is hints of shame because of patriarchal conditioning, we still do it and it make us even stronger. But there is also a lot of subs that have stages of different things in the development process. It's pretty common that one of the first things is corn, but especially reading erotica stories with femdom vibes. But a lot of submissive men have thought about this since forever, even if their friends and families have tried to condition them to act otherwise. There is a lot of older dommes in their 30s to 60s who sell books and have pretty popular blogs about this, and they are very educational and I feel so blessed and a lot of my character development has been through the teachings of those posts, it's not just about being a gentleman, or being a mindless man who says yes to everything, but a man who knows consent and boundaries, a man who respect all women, a man who is a feminist, a man who understands his submission doesn't mean anything if he can't say no. A lot of men are conditioned to be in a certain way because of the manosphere, but as for a lot of subs they have been kinda misunderstood by a lot when they were younger, and as for me the conditioning has usually been through the internet, through those texts, even if I'm not perfect, and it has somehow been so much easier to fight against the social conditioning of other people to want me to act in a certain patriarchal way, and I think as for me, it has also to do with autism. But I'm personally very happy to be born submissive with awareness of it. Because awareness cures everything, and helps you to heal past traumas and to develop yourself, to become a better partner, to never settle for a relationship you don't want. And you start to understand that submission is not just about those money for instance, this is just the bare minimum, but it's about devotion, about love, about many different ways of expressing love, and sacrificing things with love. You realize that 50/50 on paper is not really equal unless you also do everything else equal in the relationship, and this is kinda why we are submissive, not because we are weak, or because we wanna be doormats, but because want real equality, were both can be whatever they want and be free. Maybe this is why a lot of women wans us to initiate, to see what we have to offer, to see if he really wants an equal partnership. Because a man who submits want to submit, it's not about control unless he is using it as a manipulation technique. Then we have healing and mental health which is also very important. A lot of young subs realize that they have been a little on and off on the dynamic, and the realize maybe to step back, and check on their mental health and heal from past traumas, because submissive men usually get triggered or remembering a lot of their traumas and that's strength, which is also why they have to go to next step, which it is to heal to build consistency, and not be on and off in a real relationship with a dynamic or not. I know I'm yapping a lot, but I think my experiences with findom and femdom has really shapes how I view life, and helping me to be more in touch with my emotions and helped me forgive myself sometimes, and see myself as human, and take the wide step forward to heal, and even if I sometimes want to relapse, I think I'm strong enough not to relapse. Because I love myself and want the best for my mental health, and when I fix myself, then I can be the good man I want to become and find a healthy real life relationship where I can continue being submissive to spoil my future partner. I do have a lot of patience, and I do also realize that this day might never come, but I kinda think that healing is part of the submission. Not just submission to a woma, but to own wellbeing, cause no woman wants an unhealed man.