u/Harpclint96

Parody of Rockwell's one hit wonder "Somebody's Watching Me"

“The Whole Farm’s Watching Me”

by The Silo Side-Eyes

Intro

Ash?

Ash, are you in the wall again?

I hear squeaking.

I know that squeak.

Verse 1

I wake up in the morning, there’s mud by my feet,

Tiny little mouse tracks run across my sheet.

I look out the window, what do I see?

A chicken and a goat both staring at me.

Shannon calls me from the porch, she seems quite annoyed,

I duck behind the feed bin, getting paranoid.

Emily’s by the fence, trying not to grin,

I turn around quick and the whispering begins.

Pre-Chorus

I try to act normal, I try to play it cool,

But the duck by the trough keeps eyeing my tools.

I open the feed sack, what do I see?

Ash with a notebook taking notes on me.

Chorus

I get the feeling the whole farm’s watching me,

And I ain’t got no privacy.

Shannon’s on the porch, Emily’s by the tree,

Myra and Amanda got their eyes on me.

I get the feeling the whole farm knows my moves,

And it’s giving me the blues.

Ash in the rafters, goats by the peas,

Everybody’s got eyes on me.

Verse 2

I’m out by the tractor just checking the gas,

Lauren walks by with a grin as I pass.

Sophia waves sweetly from the old horse gate,

Rachel says, “Relax,” but it’s way too late.

Myra and Amanda are behind the hay,

They stop talking when I look their way.

Emily Parker’s smiling by the apple tree,

Like the whole dang farm had a meeting on me.

Pre-Chorus

I hear a small squeak from the wall inside,

Then the barn door opens just a crack too wide.

A mouse-sized shadow slides over the beam,

Ash is the boss of the whole spy team.

Chorus

I get the feeling the whole farm’s watching me,

And I ain’t got no privacy.

Shannon’s on the porch, Emily’s by the tree,

Myra and Amanda got their eyes on me.

I get the feeling the whole farm knows my moves,

And it’s giving me the blues.

Ash in the rafters, goats by the peas,

Everybody’s got eyes on me.

Bridge

Maybe it’s the scarecrow, maybe it’s the sheep,

Maybe all the girls know the secrets I keep.

Maybe it’s the wind blowing through the corn,

Maybe Ash had me marked since I was born.

I saw Ash by the silo, I saw Ash in the grain,

I saw him by Shannon’s boots again.

I said, “Who’s in charge here?”

The cows looked away.

Then Ash gave a squeak like,

“I ain’t gonna say.”

Final Chorus

I get the feeling the whole farm’s watching me,

And I ain’t got no privacy.

Shannon’s on the porch, Emily’s by the tree,

Myra and Amanda got their eyes on me.

I get the feeling the whole farm knows my moves,

And it’s giving me the blues.

Lauren and Sophia by the peas,

Rachel and Emily Parker got eyes on me.

Ash in the rafters, Ash in the cheese,

Ash in the toolbox spying on me.

I’m just a farm guy trying to breathe,

But the whole farm’s got eyes on me.

Outro

Ash, I know you’re there.

Tell Shannon I’m not paranoid.

Tell Myra and Amanda I saw them.

And tell those goats…

I’m watching them too.

After a long day on the farm, Clint and Shannon found the best seat in the house — warm water, red wine, and a sky full of stars over the valley.

I asked Shannon how she pictured Jesus, and the image she described felt peaceful, powerful, and perfect for our farmhouse wall.

She said she could picture it above the fireplace — and maybe even paint it herself.

That sounded fine until I reminded her that Emily had gone to art school in Paris.

Shannon did not back down. I had forgotten she was a good painter too.

“I’m not sure that’s exactly the spirit Jesus wanted you to have,” I teased.

So Shannon and Emily turned it into a friendly painting contest in Emily’s rustic farm studio. Same image. Same inspiration. Winner’s portrait would hang above the mantel.

Emily looked confident. Shannon looked serious.

When the paintings were finished, I realized there was no safe way to choose.

So I made the only wise decision.

“Why don’t we hang both above the fireplace?”

And that is how the contest ended: two portraits, side by side — two views of the same grace.

As for which one was better?

I’m not saying.

I have to live with them both.

Clint: I always believe that the land is sacred, especially when your ancestors are buried on it.

What started as a quiet creek walk turned into Amanda teaching Myra and Lauren the fine art of crawfish spotting — which mostly involved cold feet, slippery rocks, and a whole lot of laughing.

Lauren, Amanda, and Myra sneak up on Shannon for some fun shenanigans.

I’m not sure when barn chores turned into a synchronized dance routine, but apparently the ladies have been practicing.

Ryan (brother), Shannon, Carolyn (Mom), Emily, William (Dad)

The girls are sharpening their skills.