u/Haru_maboi

This is quite of a rare occurrence, but it exists and is happening; and I so happen to be a victim of it.

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After a lot of overthinking, sad episodes, and a ton of reminiscing, I have realized how much porn had damaged my thinking, and how it led to irrational decisions I have made in the past.

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Let's get straight to the point, the problem that is: Early Porn Exposure. This is straight up horrible. I can guess that this happens in very unsupervised households and/or households/families in poverty. Early porn exposure happens when a child that has not yet reached adolescence has been exposed to pornographic materials and media, which leads to a very very twisted development of a child's cognitive function, thinking, and emotional management of the child as they grow older.

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I'll share my story, when I was around 5-7 years old, my uncle (who was a teenager at the time, around 16-17 years old) had recently exposed me to porn through the family computer. Of course, being the naive child I am, I chose to believe my uncle's "encouragement" That Sex is good, very good. This went on for more months, until it was discovered by my mother and my uncle was heavily scolded, but little do I know how big the snowball gets as it slides down the mountain.

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Fast forward, around 9-10 years old, My uncle-in-law (My aunt's husband) had exposed me to MORE porn through an old BlackBerry phone. And my god, was I having a lot of dopamine rush, to the point where I have discovered what *Masturbating* is through my uncle in law. And of course, I tried it, and it felt good. Soo good. I did it whenever I took baths by myself, when I was covered in my blanket, and when I was so alone. I never thought it would be bad for me since all I ever thought of was how good it was. And around 11-14 years old, I discovered masturbation through porn.

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And here's the kicker, ever since I was 10, I have ever thought of everyone that is the opposite sex of me wants intercourse with me, which again, is VERY messed up. This mindset went on until I was 16 years old, in which, I had an eye opener thanks to a deep conversation with my other uncle-in-law (a seperate uncle). It's where I realized, sex isn't inherently bad; but the addiction is. I was so addicted to porn and masturbating, where sooner enough it had damaged my thinking and has put me in deep guilt and shame.

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And even until now, I have relapses and sometimes regress to the time I was addicted to porn once I get exposed to triggers like suggestive materials and such. It's like, I keep thinking that I couldn't live another day without watching porn, masturbating, or a thought of havings sex with someone. And, this time, I have realized something as well: I have been groomed and was sexually assaulted into thinking that sex was good. By my UNCLES. Stereotypical, right?

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That concludes my experiences, yet the message remains; Early porn exposure is very dangerous. And so is grooming. Please, if you have a child, or know someone else who has a child, I kindly suggest you supervise or at least, notify them whether or not the child has been exposed to pornography. I just don't want other people to experience the same fucking shit I have been through—prevention is better than actively curing what already exists.