u/Haycho

For some context, we've been dating for 8 months now. I live alone in the metro area and he lives about 20 minutes away in the suburbs with his family. He works fulltime in the metro area and has the option to WFH occasionally. Typically, he would spent 2-3 nights a week at my place unless it's a particularly busy week for us.

In the last month, I've been struggling with my mental health (depression, anxiety etc) and have recently started on anti-depressants a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, they are not a good fit and have caused my depression and symptoms to rapidly worsen. The main issue is suicidal ideation (EDIT: this is a side effect of the anti-depressants which unfortunately triggered for me) which after a few days has left me emotionally drained and honestly very scared. Rest assured, I am taking steps to adjust my mediation and already in contact with my doctors about this now.

The advice I need is on whether I was expecting too much from my boyfriend by asking him to stay with me for a week while these symptoms were at their worst. I expressed to him that being alone at home is particularly rough for me right now as I've always struggled with loneliness in the pass. I told him that I don't necessarily need him to entertain me 24/7 but his presence would help me greatly. I offered to buy him PSN so he can sync his game saves through and be able to still do some of the activities he enjoys doing at home while he's staying at mine. He doesn't have a local gym or something like that so there aren't any weekly activities that he would be forsaking.

After asking him this, he was unable to commit. He felt that he needed "him" time to reset himself and generally just needs time at home to regulate him for "daily" functioning. I do understand that spending time with me whileI'm struggling with my mental health can be extra draining for him and want to make sure that he has his needs met so he doesn't 'get dragged down with me'. So in the end, he stayed for 2-3 nights that week.

I can't help but feel let down and disappointed in this result. Questions like 'Does he care about me enough' pop into my head. Maybe I have a different perspective on things (or I'm just built differently) but if the tables were turned, I really don't see myself ever saying no if he asked for the same.

I want some advice on whether I was asking too much of him? I'm really emotionally distressed right now so I'm not sure if I'm really the best judge of what should be expected of a partner of 8 months so would appreciate ya'll take on this. Would you do something like this of your partner or expect them to do this for you?

Thanks so much!