u/HeHimInGrayi

Anyone else who, before transitioning, had to code switch a lot around women (white women specifically) have moments where they now keep that fem “white voice” for when talking to white women that leads to you getting perceived as a woman?

Sorry, that may be worded a little weird. I just went to the store and subconsciously code switched when talking to the white lady behind the customer service desk. These days, I’m very good at passing to white women, but I’m pretty sure me opening my dumb mouth led to me being perceived as a masc black woman or “butch” or whatever. Because the woman then referred to me to two other staff as she/her the entire time after.

Has anyone else noticed they do this? I feel like I have to learn how to code switch as a black man now to stop my voice from doing that now 😭

Hello. I’ve been struggling like crazy for so long with this.

For some context: I have MDD and PTSD and a (anaphylactic) severe allergy to peanuts and all tree nuts. Sometime next month I should be moving out of transitional housing and into my own place thanks to my voucher. I should also be getting a job within that time as well since I’m actively in contact with the company.

Anyways, I’m trying to find a program that can provide a service dog and train it for me. Most programs I’ve found are out of state for some reason and I don’t have a car, I’ve been homeless and in transitional housing programs for youth for three years now and never could make enough to afford one. I’m limited to the confines of this state at max. All programs providing for free are either for veterans or have closed applications. Other places provide training but not the dog. I can’t train my own dog, my depression won’t let me do much let alone have the motivation to be that structured to fully train something. I also can’t be around the food I’m allergic to so doing that isn’t an option. Even when it comes to buying my own dog, I wouldn’t have the funds yet as I’d just be starting work. (Payment plans would be an option if anyone knows any places that would accept that. Idk how it would work but if there’s any places willing to work with me)

And sure I could always just wait and wait and save and save until I have enough to do everything, but I don’t know how that would look and I genuinely don’t believe my mental health will do well with me living alone with how it’s been… that made no sense sorry. I mean, my mental health is… not good enough for me to feel certain that I’ll be safe with just myself. If you know what I mean. And even my job I’ll be getting will push my anxiety a lot more than I’ll be used to. It’s such an urgent need that I’ve had since I was in middle school but could never get. And I’m 21 now struggling more and more.

Does anyone know of any resources that could help? Shoot even fundraising resources would be helpful, although I’ve sort of given up on that too. You really have to know people to spread fundraisers. I don’t have people around me who can help me financially. If I did I wouldn’t be in this living situation to begin with.

Anyways, any advice or resources helps. Sorry it’s a lot of information but my situation is very… specific. Ya know?