It's been about 2 years since my high school sweetheart and I broke up.
I think I'm just posting this as a therapy session, so my bad for venting.
My ex and I started dating at 15 and we broke up when we were 25 two years ago. I wanted to follow my dream of seeing the world and I joined the peace corps. We had a very loving and understanding relationship, but I feel like I took advantage of that the last couple of years and deeply regret it. I was in a really dark place and I couldn't seem to get out of it. My solution was making a drastic life change to chase my career goals, so I joined the Peace Corps. I invited her, but she was reluctant and I don't think she took me seriously at the time.
Well, two years later, they kicked me out of the peace corps for a policy violation that honestly wasn't incredibly serious IMO but either way I took responsibility for it and resigned. Long story short, I had a lapse of judgement that I've now learned from deeply. Anyway, I still live abroad and now I speak two languages but sometimes I wonder if it was all worth it... She has a new bf and I have a new gf but she pops up in my mind and in my dreams once in a while and it sucks knowing that I gave up something so good for something that turned out not so well. At least I have a new perspective of life and have gained some valuable experiences.
I think now I understand what "I wouldn't give you up for the world" really means. Because I did (give her up for the world) and find myself wondering what could've been. Oh well, life has a strange way of working things out. I have really odd feelings that I wish I could hold her again, but at the same time I'm glad I took this route. Such conflicting feelings. I want to reach out but I want to respect that she has a new man. I'm probably going to come back home in a couple months, but I'm not sure what I want to do here... what do you guys think?