Need help please
Hello, I would like some guidance.
I have been interested in esotericism for several years, and in demonology for a few months. In previous years, I said many prayers to be purified, notably using banishing pentagrams (Alexandre Moryason's version), and I asked to be put to the test in order to become as pure as possible.
Three years ago, my wife and another person started a childcare association. I believe I helped tremendously throughout the entire process, as well as with building maintenance, etc. A third person then joined the association. My wife was sidelined, and last September, we were 'summoned' and they really lashed out at us. Apparently, the things I was doing for the association were not enough, while according to them, the others were doing everything (by that, I mean they made a mountain out of their own contributions, whereas I try to remain as humble as possible, to the point of letting myself be walked all over). They didn't hesitate to lie and constantly change their story just to disparage us (four aggressive people against my wife and me, who were trying to be as kind as possible, especially in connection with my desire to become pure...). Looking back today, I think their goal was simply to push us out without any scruples, because they know each other well and my wife and I are not close to them.
Since that meeting in September, I’ve had a knot in my stomach and I have absolutely no self-esteem left. My wife quit that job right after because it drove her completely into depression. I thought time would heal this, but for now, I still have that knot of nerves, and I still feel like throwing up whenever I think about it.
I realize that despite my desire to purify myself, I am very far from that goal, because today I want only one thing: for them to realize how cruel they were. In short, I want them to experience karmic backlash (unless I was genuinely in the wrong, though from my perspective, I wasn't...). Yet, this goes against Jesus's Beatitudes, which is a text I absolutely love.
I hope I have managed to express how I feel as accurately as possible.
Do you know someone (a demon) with whom I could do this work: succeeding in rebuilding myself, trusting myself, and recognizing my own abilities (I believe I am quite dedicated, hardworking... the exact opposite of how I feel today)? And wishing them that backlash... it's hard for me to wish that, but... Or perhaps I wish for this entity to open my eyes to who I am, if I am truly that worthless.
And why not some help on how I should go about it.
Thank you, I apologize if the text is poorly translated, have a good day everyone.