I don't know how to quit porn.
This is kind of a vent post but also a call for help.
Just to start, I'm 22M, I've been watching porn for about 9 years now, funny enough I learned about it from a Youtube video, some guy was vlogging and complained in a flight that he didn't have internet, then he saw he had a static page of images of porn, he got happy, me being confused and wanting to know why he's happy, i searched the site he was on and...yeah.
I've always wanted to quit porn, I got down to 2-3 times a week, but I've been trying for the past 4 years, but every method I use, I either break easily or its not for me, because I always do it in the shower on and off(cleaner that way) and most of these methods are like "go into another room, go for a walk, meditate, read a book, " can't exactly do that in a damn shower.
This is what I've tried for the past 4 years,(some worked but only once or twice):
-intentionally drain my phone's battery before shower just so there's nothing.
-give my phone to a family member for no reason, or keep it close to them.
-lock my entire phone with an app.
-app blockers.
-blocked all social media(because the porn blocker didn't block social media, wasn't the best)
-MADE AN APP that automatically turns off my phone when the word "porn" is written.
-broke my airpods (since i have family members around, and i don't use my airpods all that much anyway other than yknow)
-scheduled my workouts to be before I shower(I shower twice a day in the days I workout, removed that and just made it once at night)
-made myself extremely tired in general before shower, just so I wouldn't be bothered and want to get this shower over with.
and many, many, many, many more, every single one I had a workaround, or it works, but its sometimes so inconvenient like making myself tired, how am i doing that at 12am?
For those who might think "you have no control over yourself" or "you don't have willpower" I DO, MY ISSUE IS THAT AT SOME POINT IN MY LIFE I TREATED PORN AS A STRESS RELIEVER WHEN I WAS OVERLY STRESSED, AND SOMEHOW WHEN AFTER I WATCH PORN I DIDNT FEEL AS STRESSED, SO IT BECAME A GATEWAY TO FEEL "normal/calm".
For example, when I had a break from University, I'd probably do it once every 2 weeks maybe? but when there are exams, it could get as bad as 3-4 times a week, now of course I have no calm days because of work and constant projects and deadlines.
Its ruining me slowly, and I feel it everyday, sometimes I don't even remember that I watched porn, its like I consciously did it but have no memory of it that day, sometimes I don't even remember basic stuff, its like my brain is degrading every time, my focus is way lower, I get distracted easily, I get bored easily, I don't have patience anymore, I'm a sloth.
please, help me.