Asking for a Critical Analysis of My Situation

I. People Involved

a. Me (24 years old)

I am currently a business/it student. I am mixed-race and was raised in an Asian household that tends to take things slowly. People describe me as a little nerdy and very shy. I do not usually approach girls, and I still have no real experience with these kinds of situations. I always prefer to maintain boundaries.

b. Alysa (20 years old) (alias only)

She is a food server/cashier. She is a very, very shy type of person. She seems simple, hardworking, and professional. She is Mexican. Her manager described her as someone who barely talks. 

II. Setting

My friend owns a restaurant in a food court, so I usually go there every day when I am in town. Right beside my friend’s store is another food chain where Alysa works. I casually talk with the staff in the food court, including her manager.

Because of the setting, most interactions are short, work-related, and just casual talks with her manager while she is beside the manager (also a female). We never really had a natural setting for a deeper personal conversation.

III. Background Story (Past Interactions)

Over the past several months, I became a regular customer at her store. At first, Alysa, one of the cashiers and a shy, quiet type, had very limited interaction with me. I don't talk that much with her since I'm always nervous, and I didn't directly ask her for contact since I respect our professional boundaries as a server and customer, and it is a workplace. I only tried to convey my interest in very subtle ways and only if she's there alone and there are no other customers.

1. Manager’s description of her personality

Her manager emphasized that Alysa is the only shy one on the team; she doesn't talk that much while everyone else is talkative. This detail has stayed with me because it affects how I interpret her actions. I know shy people can be difficult to read.

2. The fortune cookie conversation (first interaction)

One time, I asked Alysa if she believed in fortune cookies. She replied with something like:

“I hope they are.”

That became a small recurring theme between us.

3. Fortune cookie scripts I gave her

Over time, I gave her fortune cookie slips that I had received from the store (they were store-provided, not handwritten) along with small compliments. I usually slid them to her quietly so it would not be too obvious. She would thank me and smile.

The fortune slips I gave her said:

1. “You are charming in the way of your words.”
2. “With brains and beauty, you are a perfect package.”
3. “You will be promoted soon.”

These were not handwritten notes. They were actual fortune cookie slips from the store that I received from her. She might be aware of my interest during these times.

4. Asking her name and shaking hands

I asked her name once and shook her hand. She maintained eye contact and said, “Nice to meet you" after I said my name.

That stood out to me because she did not immediately avoid eye contact in that moment.

5. Small compliment

One time, I asked her:

“What are you wearing?”

She replied:

“Oh, this one?”

I then said something like:

“Yeah, you look cute with that… your smile.”

She smiled after that.

6. The sandwich prototype incident

At one point, I offered her a sandwich prototype for testing. She declined and avoided looking at me, which clearly felt awkward. However, her teammate and manager did try it.

This moment is important because it showed me how she seems to behave when she feels pressured, awkward, or forced. In that moment, I clearly noticed discomfort.

7. Long eye contact during transactional moments

During those times, I think she already had some hints that I was interested in her. At the same time, when I spoke to her, she still maintained eye contact without seeming awkward (around 10 seconds), such as when I asked about items or asked about another friendly member. These were just normal questions, but the eye contact was noticeable. Because she is shy, these moments stood out to me.

8. Group interaction with her coworkers

One time, my friend and I were casually talking with their staff. I was standing there awkwardly and mostly trying to talk with her coworker, not with Alysa directly. But one time, I noticed Alysa lean in when she thought she was the one being asked something, like she wanted to talk. I didn't talk to her that time since I'm also shy.

While I was heading out, I just looked at her with a shy nod, and she looked at me and said: “Have a good one!”

9. A cringy joke

At one point, I made a very cringy joke, and she fully laughed. I know she laughed just out of politeness. 

"Why don't pandas argue with each other?..... cuz they prefer to bear with it."

10. The letter I gave before leaving town

Before I left town 6 months ago, I wrote her this letter:

“No cringy panda jokes inside 😄
…from the annoying late-night customer.”

“Hey Alysa,
Thanks because I got the best scripts from you. Also, kudos to your professionalism.

We didn’t talk much, but every time I passed by, there was something about your quiet presence that stood out. Calm, kind, and a little mysterious in your own way.

There’s something interesting, but I haven’t figured it out yet.

I’m flying out, so I thought it would be nice if we could be friends.

Would you mind being friends?

[I attached the “Say Yes” fortune slip here and wrote my IG handle on it.]

P.S. I think you also gave me the weirdest one… :)”

She did not follow me on Instagram after that. A friend later told me she might not even have an IG account.

IV. After 6 Months

After 6 months, I saw her again at the same store.

1. My behavior when I came back

I ordered multiple times without acknowledging her because I felt that she might feel awkward, especially since she never followed me on IG. I even ordered from another employee first, since I'm shy.

Last week, I also ordered from her twice, but I kept it purely transactional. On the most recent day, I ordered four times and still kept everything transactional until the very end.

2. Signs that she still remembered me

Even though I was acting normal, I am sure she still remembered me because of the following:

• She gave me items that I used to regularly ask for, such as extra items or cookies, without me asking, while other staff did not.
• She asked if I wanted a bag even though they do not usually offer one for a small single side.
• She told the other cashier to give me an employee discount since I'm from the other store. I know that it suggests familiarity.
• The difference between when Alysa served me and when another employee served me made me think she personally remembered my pattern.

3. The “long time no see” moment

On my fourth and last order of that day, I was heading out while she was cleaning because they were already closing.

I looked at her and finally acknowledged her and said:

“Long time no see.”

While she was holding something she was cleaning, she looked at me and gave me a full smile.

That's the last time I saw her, and hoping I can see her again.

V. I’m Looking For Critical, Honest Analysis and Feedback:

My questions:

1. Given the long-term transactional interactions, small compliments, and her very shy personality, do her actions seem like simple politeness, or does it seem like she may be open to knowing me? She didn't add me on IG; that's why I'm hesitant.
2. For a very shy girl who is aware of my interest, how much weight would you give to:
   • Holding eye contact(genuine, following, and connecting) and a full smile 
   • Remembering my patterns
   • Other actions

    

3. What is your overall analysis of her behavior since she is a very shy type?
4. What action points would you recommend if I ever see her again?

I would appreciate blunt and critical perspectives. I want to know whether I am overanalyzing things or missing important cues.