u/Healthy-Rip5709

Officially, we are done. 5 Years Gone. We talked after a frustrating night and we mutually decided it was time. I had already mourned the loss, mourned what they left behind, and was ready to start a new chapter of learning who I was again.

Or so I thought. Loneliness does weird things to people. Continuing to live together has become a chore. You threw it away but now you want it back? Where was that energy months ago? Why would I take you back now?

You deserve love, but its no longer with me.

My (28F) bipolar 2 girlfriend (27F) of 4 years decided to see a guy i told her not to, blah blah blah ethical non monogamy BS, there is lots to the story but essentially I need advice on how to get out. I have no money because I spent $7,000 on getting us an apartment, paying bills and rent solo due to her mental health. I have nothing in savings anymore. I have family I can live with. This is my first apartment ever so I don't know how breaking a lease works or if its worth just sticking it out for another 8 months.

She is extremely volatile right now, basically told me she doesn't care about her own feelings now and that I can do whatever I want around the house and in our relationship, and that she hasn't cared for a couple months. She has been seeing this guy for a couple months, clearly loves him by the look on her face, begs him to stay, all that ish. She says she loves me. I don't know if its just a previous version of me or what. Doesn't matter. I'm sick of crying at night alone.

She is suicidal and has threatened it all month. We almost checked her in last week. I still love her. I don't want her to kill herself. I don't want her to stop existing. I just am not her person ... clearly. How do I safely let her go so I don't feel like I'm sending her to her grave?

(Yes I know its my fault for sticking around and "trying to make it work". I'm trapped in a trauma bond and I have no therapist money to figure out my self worth. Help me break the cycle please!)

EDIT: forgot to mention she is medicated it just isn't doing anything. The meds that work for her are not covered by insurance.

(I may be in the wrong thread but I'm having a difficult time identifying what this is...)

For context, my girlfriend (Bi-F) and I (Bi-F) have been dating for 4 years. We get along well and are very satisfied with each other and the relationship we have built. She requested we start finding a third FwB about two years into our relationship and I was unsure at the time. (I had never actually been with a guy before)

She recently found a third on Tinder, and met up with him alone while I was on safety duty. Everything went great, she came home safe and told me about him. She met him twice after that before I finally got the courage to join. It was a lot of fun and we all got along great at first. Recently I noticed he has been messaging her more, touching her more and leaning towards wanting more from her. She is totally not interested in a relationship, just wants benefits. I on the other hand am a little more emotional and like to know I'm wanted where I am. Having a connection, no matter how small, is vital for me to feel comfortable.

Without getting into the nitty-gritty, I am feeling like the third wheel every time we meet up as a group due to a general lack in atmosphere and a disconnect between me and him. The two of them share a lot of similarities and connect really easily. They have similar styles of humor. He has mentioned a few times that she was his type. I don't always feel left out, he does try to accommodate me. He answers or reacts to my texts, he turns his attention to me 40% of the time, and hes really sweet most of the time. I would let them meet up without me but my partner's whole goal was for us to almost always be a trio. She said she would break it off with him if we couldn't make it work.

I'm not sure if this is common for ENM/monogomish/open relations? Should I just get over it and have fun? I know that it's impossible to be completely equal and yet I have this feeling like we are a Polaroid in an art museum.

TLDR: personal insecurities making me feel like a third wheel with our FwB.