How do I know if my boyfriend (32M) is stealing from me (26F)?
This is my first time writing on Reddit so apologies if I didn’t follow all the rules! I’m constantly listening to podcasts that read stories and the people usually have some really helpful/good advice.
I (26F) have been dating a guy, let’s call him Alex (32M) for almost a year and a half. It’s always been a bit of an eventful relationship, as Alex is a recovering addict and has 2 kids with his ex (who is very emotionally abusive towards him). He would sometimes go through stages of ghosting me/shutting me out but overall I would say it’s a bit of a toxic relationship.
Recently I had family visit me over my birthday and they had left me about £250 cash. I had kept the money in my purse and had taken some of it, maybe once or twice. One night I had gone out to a quiz and taken the purse with me. Then two days later I went to get some cash and it wasn’t there. I would remember if I had hidden it somewhere, but surely I’m not that big of a dumbass of bringing that much cash out with me. I asked Alex, and he tried to calm me down and said we would find it.
Later on the same day, I had checked my online bank account and money was missing. I was panicked because it was almost £200 that was missing - when I went to report the fraud it said that all my money was being sent to Alex’s account. But when I asked he said that none of it was in his account. The bank said sometimes scammers use people you’ve sent money to before to not raise suspicion but now I’m doubting if he ever showed me his account to prove the money wasn’t going there.
He also owes me money from a concert and said he’s sent it but the bank is what’s taking forever. And then two days after this all happened he got a call from his solicitor (he’s been going through stuff with his ex for custody) and they said fraud is looking into all his finances.
We’ve had a bit of a toxic time together but I do really love him and don’t think he would ever do something like this to me.
But also it’s not the first time I’ve lost cash in my house. This might be something different all together but he will also tell me he’s going to do something and then it never actually comes to fruition. So how do I know he’s telling the truth? How do I bring this up? Is it worth bringing up? I’m assuming if I bring this up it exposes a deep issue of me not trusting him but I’m not sure!
TLDR: I think my boyfriend is stealing from me but don’t know how to bring it up & if I do bring it up I’m not sure if we can survive that questioning.