Me(28M) confused and annoyed with gf(25f) behaviour. Need advice is my reaction ok?
My girlfriend (25F) recently messaged me (28M) about an issue she had with me not reacting "properly" to her social media stories. She enjoys singing and posting photos, but I am not a social media person. I rarely comment on anyone's stories, including my family's.
When I asked her about this in detail, she shared a screenshot with me. That's when I saw that some guy was commenting on her stories, and she told me she wanted that kind of reaction from me. His comments were clearly flirtatious. For reference, he replied, "Wow.. don't give this much beauty to anyone," to which she replied, "mm yeah." In another story, he replied, "Dang! Don't be this hot. 😌", and she responded with a "😳" emoji.
When I asked what she thought about his replies, she initially didn't get what I was trying to say. When I asked her again, she responded that he was just joking around.
I stepped back from the conversation by telling her that we would talk after she figured it out. This caused her to get stressed, and she felt like I was attacking her. I asked her to reflect on the situation, and she got defensive, saying, "I mess up every time." (She does make mistakes often, but not always, and I always try to point things out respectfully.)
She is currently at her family's home, and today is her last day there. Because of this, she asked me not to stress her out and begged me to just clearly state what upset me, saying she couldn't take the stress on her last day. I reassured her that I am not going anywhere and that she can take her time to figure things out. I never actually told her that her behavior was disrespectful; I was just asking her questions about it. I really want her to come to the conclusion on her own about why this made me uncomfortable.
For some background: she gets stressed easily over little things, but she has always been faithful to me and constantly sends me loving reels. She is coming back soon, and we will be meeting in two days.
I feel slightly guilty, but I want her to think for herself about why setting boundaries against unwanted outside attention is important. How can I handle this upcoming conversation effectively when we meet?
Edit : To all those sayings about i should communicate you are probably right. I have done that for all 8 months calmly expressing myself , using solution oriented language and trying to encourage even small steps I have seen positive. Just this one time I have decided I don't want to be that guy who always communicates the feelings and instead the other person understands directly. Also as other comments pointed out yeah I was uncomfortable with her response but on the opposite side I was trying to defend her by saying it was neutral which is paradoxical or maybe illogical. And after hearing your comments I will talk to her face to face. But I just hoped that in this fundamental problem I don't have to explain and communicate like normally how I do.