Broke up after a painful 5 year relationship, now failing the brutal expectations of arranged marriage. Feel like a failure.
I (27M) recently broke up with my GF of 5 years. The relationship died a slow, painful death. We spent 3 years trying to convince her parents (same caste, but they demanded farm land and a perfect horoscope match). They agreed at first and then humiliated my family, and backed out.
My GF asked for 15 days to convince them—which stretched into 9 months of absolute hell. Despite my parents begging me to move on, I stayed because she said she couldn't live without me. Then, last November, she went ghost for 40 days. When she returned, she claimed her parents were forcing an arranged match on her. After more lies, disappearing acts, and a failed attempt on her part to "reject" the guy. I finally chose my family and broke up with her. She didn't even fight for us; she just walked away like 5 years meant nothing. She's getting married in 10 days.
Now, I’m in the arranged marriage (AM) market, and it is exhausting.
I’ve moved on from my ex, and my only criteria for a partner is that she should be working. On paper, I thought I was doing well: at 27, I have a 6-figure salary (WFH), built my own house, bought a car and a bike, have an athletic physique, and no bad habits.
Yet, none of this matters in my community. Just like my ex's family, every AM prospect is demanding farm land. In my area, 3 acres costs ₹1 Crore. I have no idea how I'm supposed to just generate that kind of money. (Kongu belt)
I feel like a total failure. I tortured my parents for 3 years for my ex, and then left my ex for my parents. I hurt everyone, got nothing in return, couldn't marry the one I loved, and now I'm apparently "not eligible" for an arranged marriage.
TL;DR: Wasted 5 years on an ex whose family wanted farm land, only for her to ghost me and accept an arranged match. Now in the AM market myself, and despite being financially stable at 27, I'm being rejected because I don't own crores worth of agricultural land. Feel stuck and defeated.