Does my co-worker like me?
Okay, so I wasn't sure whether or not to post this because I think I'm just being a bit stupid or I've gone a bit delulu.
I'm trying to figure out whether this guy at work likes me or not. And I know I should probably just ask him, but i'm scared. And also I feel like if I did ask him he wouldn't give me an honest answer because he is so unserious and always giving me hot and cold vibes and it's all just very confusing.
So I started my new job in a small local company about two years ago now. He had been there a few years before me. We sat opposite each other but never really talked. And then a month or two later we were told that our team would be moving offices. He waited for me to pick my seat first and then he was straight in there and picked the seat next to mine (a seat he now refers to as being the best seat in the office because it is next to mine). This struck me as odd at the time but I brushed it off as being random and again we didn't really talk.
He's always been a bit like the office clown. Always doing and saying things to try and get a reaction from everyone, he loves attention. He's so unserious and can say some strange stuff some times. Everyone seems to give this reaction to him but me being a socially awkward, quiet introvert who was trying to earn her place in a new role that I didn't feel like I belonged in, I never really paid attention to his antics and instead remained focused on work.
Then a few more months later. It's our first staff night out and we had gone out for a meal before hitting the bars. I don't drink but he had had a few. We were at this pizza place and neither one of us wanted a full pizza so we decided to just share one. Then come the jokes that we are on a date, we're in love, getting married and having kids. I wonder if maybe the drinks gave him the confidence he needed and then the sharing of the pizza acted as an opening for him, I'm not sure. He playfully harassed me all night and has continued to harass me over this past year. We've fallen into a bit of a relationship where there is just a lot of playful bantar between us. Maybe even flirting ????
He has also brought me gifts one three occasions. The 1st was a regift of a gift he didn't want, the second he had left a little trinket on my desk, the 3rd was him swapping with someone else to get me in secret Santa and he did get me some really thoughtful gifts. He had even asked others what to get me.
Some of his comments do come across as creepy (e.g. that he'll be staring through my window - which is said in an unserious way, I assume to get a reaction) but is that just him also being a bit socially awkward. Or (and this is what I fear may be the truth) am I just a project to him. The one person who never gave him the attention he wanted and now I've become his mission to try and get me to pay him that attention. And then when I so react in ways that are unexpected and unlike the ways that others react (the playful banter) is that just what he's chasing.
He's always joking about us being in love, I always playfully tell him we're not. He also tells me I'm his worst enemy.
He's always telling me he has no plans at the weekend, in a way that hints that we make plans. But he never actually asks.
He always wants to be around me (which others at work keep on telling me) and tries to be in meetings and events at work that he knows I will be at.
I started eating my lunch away in another room with my friend about a month ago to get more of a break from work and to get away from my desk. He has since been taking his lunch break at the same time as me and eating with us in this other room. But more recently he's been sitting in my seat, so again is this just for a reaction????
I feel like he's always staring at me.
And he always makes a point of saying my name when he says hello, good morning, goodbye. Nobody else really does this.
He purposely does things to get me to playfully tell him off at work or asks me questions that I know he knows the answer to or can figure out for himself.
Other colleagues joke that we are flirting with each other.
But then some days he doesn't talk to me at all. There is no harassment. He starts talking to another girl in the office (a girl that he has occasionally seen outside of work - he's never done this with me), some days he doesn't join me for lunch or he's already in there with this other girl and sits in my seat. He doesn't have this playful banterful relationship with this other girl tho. He doesn't talk to me outside work but he talks to everyone else in our team outside of work. I'm just not sure what this all means. Am I overthinking this. Am I being stupid because I'm feeling really stupid. I can't help but feel like I'm just being laughed at and the not knowing is sending me into a bit of a spiral.