[QCrit] Woven in Fate and Ashes, YA, Urban Fantasy, 117k words.
Hello everyone!
Im hoping you all can help me iron out my query letter and make it the best it can be. Thank you in advance for all your help and suggestions!
Dear [interested party],
Seventeen-year-old Rose is just trying to survive each day without spiraling into the depression that shadows her every move. She has a routine, a small circle of friends, and a desperate hope for a normal life. But when she impulsively saves a mysterious girl in a back alley street, Rose's casual existence shatters. That simple act finds her caught up in a hidden world of demons and angels, and toward an apocalypse that threatens to wipe out humanity.
Now, Rose discovers she is not just a bystander but a vessel: a demon has taken root inside her mind, whispering doubts and feeding on her despair. As the forces of heaven and hell close in, Rose must navigate a conspiracy that targets her very soul. To save her friends, her family, and the world as she remembers it, she must learn to trust the voice in her head without letting it consume her. If she fails, the end of the world won't just be a prophecy, it will be a reality she helped create.
Woven in Fate and Ashes is a great combination of Kat Howard's An Unkindness of Magicians and Tracy Deonn's Legendborn. Like Howard's novel, it immerses readers in a modern magic where ancient powers operate in the shadows, driven by desire and dangerous secrets. While An Unkindness explores the systemic corruption of magic, my story turns inward, adopting the trauma-informed character arc found in Legendborn. Here, the supernatural conflict is linked to the protagonist's mental health; Rose's battle against the demon in her mind serves as a powerful metaphor for her struggle with severe depression. The result is a narrative where saving the world requires not just magical prowess, but the courage to confront the darkest parts of oneself.
My background as a ten-year USAF aircraft maintenance mechanic and holder of a Bachelor's in General Psychology has deeply impacted this story. Working in fast-paced, high-stakes environments taught me how people react when the pressure mounts, while my studies in psychology allowed me to explore the nuances of character development and mental health with authenticity. I believe that the most compelling heroes are those who fight their internal battles as fiercely as their external ones, and Rose's journey reflects the real-world resilience I've witnessed in others and cultivated in myself.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I have attached the first five pages of the manuscript below and would be happy to send the full manuscript upon request.
Sincerely,
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