u/HelicopterMundane430

tldr: after i suggested using condoms, my (24m) partner (23f) went fucking ballistic—accusing me of cheating, saying she'd fuck someone else the second she healed, and telling me she regretted the children we have together. after days of her relentlessly tearing me down, she left with our youngest, lovebombed me, and when i stood my ground and ignored her, she overdosed on fentanyl. now she’s text-bombing me from her hospital bed—blaming me for the attempt, completely denying the cycle, gaslighting me, and weaponizing medical info/custody to panic me. i’m home alone with our oldest, completely exhausted

hey everyone. i just really need to get this out bc i'm losing my mind and all alone w no family rn.. for context, my (24m) partner (23f), recently went through an ectopic pregnancy and had to have surgery, blood transfusions, etc. it was incredibly scary for the both of us but luckily everything has gone relatively well since then. we also just had our 2nd baby a few months ago.

about a day or two ago, we were talking about how she got pregnant, since we just had our 2nd baby a few months ago. somewhere in the conversation i mentioned that i want to wear a condom in the future to prevent any accidents in the future, and she went fucking ballisitic. accusing me of cheating, saying she wont fuck me w a condom, once shes healed shes going to fuck someone else, and that she regrets the children we have. throughout 2 days i tried joking, making light of the situation and just being the same me in hopes we dont go thru this cycle again, but she just kept going and going tearing me down. eventually, i gave up and called her a piece of shit and went to bed. nothing else was said.

in the middle of that night she decided to head 2 hours away with our youngest to her grandmas and proceeded to act like nothing ever happened, then lovebomb the fuck outta me. this is not the first time this behavior has been out there. i've noticed over the past 3 years, it's a cycle. every few months, she will get insanely mad at me for something relatively dumb in my eyes, break up with me & treat me like shit, leave, then lovebomb me. i completely ignored it, and stood on my feet saying im not doing this shit anymore and after her blowing my phone up saying please, id rather die, i cant do this, etc. i left her on read.

about 4 hours later i got a text from her sister saying shes in the hospital for a suspected overdose. i was broken, and had no one to support me.. it was just me n my oldest and iw as trying to not break. all the guilt that weighed in on me, i felt terrible.

however, once she did wake up, instead of focusing on surviving, she immediately started testing my boundaries from her hospital bed. she escalated to extreme threats. she started testing my boundaries texting things like, "i don’t want to be somewhere i’m not wanted" when i didn't bite and set a firm boundary, she escalated to extreme threats, texting that she doesn't want to be alive, and wishing her ectopic pregnancy had just killed her. she explicitly tried to pin her suicide attempt on me by saying "i tried to kill myself because any life that i have to exist in that doesn’t have you in it.. isn’t a life i want to live." in the exact same message, she tried to shield herself from being called out for manipulation by twisting the logic.

when i called out this destructive cycle of mistreatment followed by lovebombing, she completely denied it by saying "i’m not lovebombing you? i don’t even know how you think that..."

when i told her about the intense anxiety i live in because of how she treats me, she completely deflected with "stop what? what am i doing? i’m not treating you like anything..."

and finally, she finished by telling me she was removing me as her emergency contact to maximize my panic.

i decided i was not going to fall into this trap again, and completely ignored all of the lovebombing. but i am exhausted, anxious, and deeply overwhelmed trying to take care of my kid while processing all of this alone..

idk i jus needed to vent i guess. shouldve left the first time this shit happened :|