AIO for questioning a 10-year friendship over an unfulfilled offer?
My (33F) friend “Lane” (33F) and I have been best friends for over ten years. Things shifted after she had kids, but I was there for every kid milestone and planned her baby shower, and we still caught up every couple of months and texted regularly.
Last year I got married. The wedding was immediate family only, and I think Lane was disappointed not to attend but supportive. She volunteered several times to help plan a smaller celebration (we would still pay for it) with our friends, which meant a lot since I never would’ve asked for that kind of favor.
That was over six months ago. Since then she’s brought it up over text a few times asking about guest count and acknowledging she is a “bad friend” for not starting the planning, then dropped off for months at a stretch, not responding when I check in like I normally would.
That alone would be more understandable. She has two kids and works full time. But in the same stretches she’s gone quiet on me, she’s found time to ask me to nominate her for a career award, help her fill out the application for the award, and plan a birthday party for herself (months after her actual birthday, on my new husband’s birthday no less).
Edit: we’ve asked her over and over if she is still up for planning it, giving her a chance to bow out, and when she actually responds she says yes and asks for the same set of details provided multiple times.
She has time to ask me for all that, but not enough to even tell me she doesn’t want to plan the celebration anymore. We held off doing it ourselves because she was so excited, and now we’re doing it on our own anyway. I’m so hurt, and starting to wonder if we’re even really friends.
AIO?