[Complete] [56000] [Dark Fantasy] Hellshatter: The Art of Heresy
Blurb:
This is a dark fantasy medieval setting with some horror. The story takes place twenty-five years after the apocalyptic event known as the shatter. It follows the journey of a peasant woman, Mariot; a knight, Lamond; and a huntsman, Cuilén, as they travel through the Arboreal Highlands of Gallea.
The Knight Lamond has come to the city of Ben Càrn seeking cowards to become knights and journey through the forest to fort Dunbatter.
This is a journey of survival. Entities, demons, and worse things prowl the woods. If they can survive that, then they must contend with each other. No one survives the end times without blood on their hands.
Decisions I made:
The setting and creatures are based on celtic and european mythology and history.
To not use ‘he thought, she looked, he smelled, etc.,’ as much as possible. If it says it stinks, then we know that’s because the pov character can smell the bad smell.
Internal thought is not italicised. This is because it should always be clear whose pov things are in. One pov per chapter for the most part.
The story is told in third person past tense from the pov of the character with emotional beats filtered through their perspective.
Dialogue is present tense and internal thought which is essentially internal dialogue is also in present tense.
Things to check for:
Sentences that are bad or confusing.
Words of phrases that seem to be repeated overly much.
Anything anachronistic to the setting including dialogue.
Grammar mistakes.
Spelling mistakes – I aimed for UK English throughout.
An inappropriate amount of emotional beats that may make the scene melodramatic.
I am available to critique swap