about a month ago my ex-boyfriend broke up with me because he thought i was not loving enough
i was in the process of getting better, and i started getting better just last year. i found books and started getting better by myself. i asked him to wait 2-3 years until i got better and then we would get together like properly properly.
he got antsy 2 months ago. he kept accusing me every week that I didn’t love him. it would send me crying while i found new ways to prove my love to him and i used to reassure him everytime that i loved him deeply, that i was committed to him, i just needed some time to heal.
this went on for a month and i begged that i would do anything to love him. he said he didn’t feel loved. he said i could never love him enough. he said even if i got better i could never love him enough, and then he broke up with me.
for the first 20 days after the breakup i was fine, I didn’t even miss him. but these past 2-3 days it has been hitting me, and my body just kind of…. gave up.
i can’t sit up straight because my body feels too heavy, i can’t eat, my face is darkening, i can’t breathe, i am extremely exhausted all of the time. even if i want to do stuff, my body is not allowing me to do it. i can’t even prop my head up while i am lying down.
its like this extremely heavy weight on me. i was exactly like this last year before i found the book and started getting better slowly.
and I don’t know how to get better this time.