u/Helpful-Form4190

Exactly a year ago, I had resolved that I would be in a specific city with a specific role. The months that followed consisted of embracing openness, living in the end, and practicing detachment. I had multiple instances of birds before land. These were surreal movements I saw as bridges of incidence that could not be possible on their own. Potential job offers, and a specific rare opportunity literally handed to me. Yet, all these surreal moments end up falling through.

I'm still at square one now. Although there are many aspects in which I have grown, which have prepared me to take on the role I am manifesting, I am slipping back into the "waiting" period. Persisting was easy, but now it has started to feel like waiting.

That moment mitchem tells Rory "you don't have it" to become a journalist has been experienced by many at least once in their life. What's your story?

When I was in high school, I was very involved in this club. I'm talking competing at the national level, attending every workshop and meeting, really putting myself out there. I was sure I would easily land an officer position in my school for this the following year. That summer, I was the only one among my grade to compete nationality, and while I went and met new people from all over the nation, I didn't spend much time with the people from my school who were upperclassmen and not my friends. One of the advisor's only saw this side of me, and when I didn't get selected to be an officer, I approached her to ask why. She told me I wasn't outgoing enough to lead the club. It really shattered my self confidence for a few years! I relate with Rory, because here I had made this club my whole life (I was in high school and it mattered a lot at the time lol), and someone was taking that away from me with their words. I was obsessed with proving this advisor wrong and tried even harder to show I could be a leader. Looking back I think I was focusing on the wrong things. With more life experience I've grown into a leader in my career field, and I learned that circumstances don't define us, only we do. Circumstances evolve and change, and we have to learn to move forward without letting those things get to us!

What's the mindset and methods that have truly allowed you to be organized as an adult? 

I'm not talking about "trendy organizations" such as dopamine boosting or study routines, but a method that has allowed you to excel at adulthood including managing corporate life, budgets, starting a business, hitting milestone, social life, etc. 

While I always felt overwhelmed by the sheer number of things to keep up with in school, these were still concrete pre-decided assignments, so I knew I just had to get it done one way or another.

With adulthood, I've found things to be more open ended. It really comes down to a choice of HOW I want to spend my time. I get to initiate my own projects, ideas, and self development. I get to choose if I want to learn more about finances or investing. But organizing it so I'm hitting actionable goals has been a struggle. I will skim and pick something up when it interests me, but it's more sporadic and comes and goes as another commitment takes up the space. Life feels like an open ended curriculum and I need help optimizing this!

I am currently a predoctoral/post-baccalaureate scholar, and I will be leading an independent, partially funded, industry-sponsored pilot study under a PI with extensive NIH funding. Although I secured some funding to support the research activities, it is not enough to cover my salary.

I currently serve as a research coordinator at another university in a different state. I have explored funding opportunities within the university, but the available programs have strict department-based restrictions that prevent me from receiving predoc funding unless my PI is faculty in that specific department.

My PI has also mentioned a forthcoming NIH grant that I may be able to support as a research coordinator, but that would require splitting my time between the NIH study and my independent project, and the position is not guaranteed.

I wanted to ask whether there are any independent grants available to predoctoral scholars that could help fund the remainder of my study. I would be very grateful for any guidance.

Hi r/AskTeachers ! I'm (24F) a mentor to a high school junior and need advice on kindly communicating/asserting personal boundaries to both make this a teachable moment for her, but also cultivate a healthy mentor-mentee relationship. I truly enjoy mentoring her, as I remember being that age and wishing I had someone to confide in for advice on navigating anxieties surrounding school, friends, family, and culture. For context, our families are friends, and I have known her since she was very young. While we played as kids our relationship has evolved into me taking on a big sis kinda role after I went to college, graduated, and started working full-time. My mentorship style is treating the mentee as a peer, and creating a comfortable space where they can confide in me as a friend too. While I consider this relationship a type of friendship, I still think there are certain natural boundaries due to us being in different life stages, and I'm struggling on how to properly communicate this without being patronizing or making her feel infantilized. She is a very capable and smart young women and I enjoy hanging out with her as a friend beyond the scope of mentoring!

The problem is she seems to forget I'm an adult with a full-time job and also a 20-something-year-old who can't be there for every little thing and sometimes just wants to hang out with her other 20-something year old friends. I currently live with my parents to save on rent, but commute an hour into the city for work. I wonder if this indirectly signals away from my adulthood? I will get many messages from her throughout the day of every academic occurrence, and while I don't mind reading over an email draft here and there, it turns into multiple, very long messages like this every day. Additionally, she would ask to come over to my house to hang out and study on week nights, which is ok once in a while, but I can't welcome this frequently. I tried to space out my responses and reply days later explaining I'm quite busy. When it was getting too much at times, I gently communicated I have a job and don't have the capacity to be involved at this level. While she would apologize and be understanding, the routine is still the same. This is not the case where she doesn't have friends or others to talk to, and I'm glad she has other support systems. That being said, I wonder now if I'm being too nice and need to be more firm.

I also think this is a teachable moment about professionalism. In the professional space, sending your mentor or supervisor multiple messages and asks about every minor inconvenience is not ideal. In the real world, this behavior is how people get ghosted! The thing is, I remember not understanding certain cues and getting ghosted or feeling an off vibe from elders/mentors when I was younger, so it's important to me to always be honest and direct because I would've deeply valued that from others. How do I do this while firmly making my boundaries clear?

Edit: while this isn't a formal mentorship through an organization, I act as a mentor in addition to a friend in every sense. I have connected her to volunteering and high school internship opportunities, coached her for public speaking competitions, and reviewed essays. I realize my level of involvement would warrant payments from more formal organizations, but it's in my nature to help for free. While I enjoy mentoring in these ways, it can be very draining, and receiving frequent messages in addition to that has made me overwhelmed!

I have an exalted Rahu (Gemini) which sits in the 2nd house, but my chart is also reading it as a Lord of 10th house. But Shani is already the owner of my 10th house. How do I interpret this?

I'd appreciate any advice as someone pivoting from academia to law. 

I did not get into any clinical psychology PhD programs I applied to this cycle despite multiple posters, a first author pub in review, and 2 years postbac experience. There were many PIs who expressed interest in working with me, but also honest about their limitations due to funding. This past week I have been catching up with mentors at conferences and fellow post-bacs in my shoes who also had unsuccessful cycles, and things aren't looking good. It seems academia isn't a viable field to pursue anymore with a very slim ROI. My passion for this field started with an interest to work with youth and families to help make their lives better as well as develop and present research.  I believe I can still achieve these goals through a career in law. At the core I am a learner and problem solver. I am good at figuring things out, and this has led to me self learning many important skills and methodologies which my lab relies on. I have audited advanced statistics courses while working, and authored syntaxes my lab uses. I share this information, as I believe these are traits that can translate into my study and application of the law.

I am very new to this field and looking for advice on how I can pivot. Where do I start?

What advice do you have for someone in my shoes?